Unwed and unemployed

It has been a full 30 days of being unemployed now and I am seriously feeling like the worlds largest loser.

Had it not been for a loan from my sister, a loan from my parents, and selling two articles to a ghostwriter I would not have paid rent and utilities and afforded dog and cat food.

The Freemont strip story is still not written with 30 days unemployed because I have been playing medicaid/disability roulette.

The doctors took another image of my spine and said "Work while you can, which won't be long!"

Nice.

In more interesting news one of the clinical doctors here wants to study me for a case. He has not seen people with SYringomyelia so young so he wants to do a study. Hopefully it will cover my meds.

I just want a part time job so that I can help with bills I feel like such a loser.

So far the only thing I have been doing is child wrangling and cooking meals.

I actually had to go to the food give away and pick up some stuff for our house.

THrough it all I am trying to stay positive but when one is in pain and eating crappy 24/7 and worried about bills it is hard to think about "Be positive"

I could always have to live in a cardboard box somewhere. That would be worse.

KJ

Pole Position? Olympics 2008

Every year my Grandmother and I would watch the Olympics when they were on. Swimming, Gymnastics, Track and Field during the summer then Skating, Skiing, and in later snowboarding.

But now its the later years that somewhat drive me a little crazy.

First there is the "Dream Team" We make a basketball team that is so good, the best money can pay for, that beats every other team because we can pull NBA players to play basketball.

Then suddenly we start adding sports to Olympic games. I like Snowboarding, Diving from higher and higher platforms, tae kwon do and Karate both being added.

Fencing, AWESOME its a physically demanding sport, even freaking ping pong that I saw in Thailand looked crazy.

Then I saw Curling, Water Polo, Rhythmic Gymnastics,Archery,Badminton,and Synchronized Diving.

Even The Luuje, as in Jumping in a sled and riding down a hill of ice.

When Did this become something that was as difficult or rated on the scale of sport as a 100 meter dash, leaping off a balance beam, or swimming to beat others to the other end of the pool?

Then again, as a retired competitor of fencing, karate, and firefighting myself I can appreciate that the most medals won this year were not in fact won by anyone in sychronized diving, not in water polo and not even in badminton which I myself enjoyed in high school gym class.

They were 8 medals won in swimming. Something I was never good at, something Micheal Phelps spent hours in a pool practicing, training, and sacrificing for.

So maybe the fact that there are all these other "sports" out there for people to participate in isn't so important as long as there are committed athletes willing to take risks and train hard to try to compete in the classic events that made the Olympics worth watching again.

The Itchy and Scratchy Show

It wasn't what I thought it was. I woke up again for the fifth night in a row with my left side itching like hell. My wounds were itching like crazy but more my ribs and back were itching!

I finally called a truce and went in to see my doctor and he took some x-rays.

Turns out when I took a tumble from the scootie puff junior I broke my left ankle again ( too late to cast again and like the millionth time anyhow) my left wrist, dislocated and then snapped back in my shoulder and apparently cracked a rib.

So the reason I was itching so bad was that I am healing. Holy High pain tolerance batman! I rule!

I rewarded myself for being such a badazz by going on a very slow scooter ride while Crash and Jeci were out at the Hardware store only to come home to find Little "D" ratting me out to my sister.

Narc.

I wouldn't talk to the kid for like an hour. What a turn coat, the first time I catch his drinking underage or sneaking out payback is a b*tch.

He promised not to tell Crash and Jeci has the memory of a Goldfish but still.

I am jobless not on Lock down.

OK. I have 30 minutes before its time for Kane and I to go to bed and I still need to shower and give Kane a Bath.

KJ

What gets you through it?

31 years old.

I spent it cooking, cleaning and trying to ignore my aching left side covered in road rash.

the serious scrapes are getting better but I am in no shape to go to work this weekend so I was told by my part time job that I have been taken off the schedule for the rest of the month.

This helps money matters considerably! Pun intended.

So I told my future sister in law that I am going to go to school to become a counselor and she said "How can you do that, won't you internalize everything?!"

I thought about it and said "Nope."

She asked me how I couldn't and I said "Its all about what gets you through it."

I mean I am pretty crippled, and got into a scooter accident and got layed off and then fired for having a freaking scooter accident. Things are not good. But things could really be worse. Seriously they could!

We have enough cat food in the house, my sister won't let us starve because she freakin owes us, our rent is paid for this month. I will worry about the other bills as they come.

If I have to go off pain meds and go to the emergency room to get them then thats what I have to do.

Things have a way of working out, lifes crazy that way.

KJ

Scootie Puff Jr. Bucks the Rider

So I was about to take Jeci to the doctor when Chris gets my scooter running again and wants me to take a quick test drive.

Eager to test it out I take off entirely too fast and wipe out accross the street in the neighbors driveway.

I slid for about 5 feet with the scooter on top of me then stopped to which I hear "Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit HUNNY! are you ok?! shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!!!" from Chris running out after me.

our neighbor heard the crash and came running out,as did his wife the nurse.

I was completely conscious and trying to get up but was pinned saying "I'm fine!"

I had road rash down my left side and a rock wedged in my left wrist and my helmet was scratched up, as was my scooter and I was bleeding from several places but felt fine.

So Jeci took me with her to the doctor and he took one look at my pupils and sent me to urgent care for x-rays.

I was mildly concussed (but so was she and she lost consciousness on friday from being ran over by a bunch of idiots with sticks. Look up Society for Creative Anachronism and Pensic War.)

I have a sprained foot, and shoulder, two sprained fingers, and lots of tiny cuts and abrasions. The nurse next door came with me to prompt care and told them to use betadine on my cuts to teach me a lesson and they did.

Let me tell you, shit hurts like a mother!

Chris was already talking about selling Scootie Puff but I said "No, absolutely not."

I have learned my lesson about taking off too fast and I am getting right back on once I feel better and taking a scooter safety class from my other scooter riding friends.

He hesitantly agreed until my friend Curt who rides motorcycles came over and said he would personally teach me and he teaches motor cycle safety seminars.

I checked on Scootie puff today and she started right up and sounded fine, I think there might be some damage to the back wheel, I am going to have to take her apart and take a look. Its a good think I am unemployed right now!

In other news Jeci got fired today.

She came home and said "Good news I am here to take care of you!" I kinda peered up at her like "wah?"

And she told me she had been fired.

GREAT. Two unemployed people in the house.

If our luck keeps running this well we will be living in a cardboard box by September!

KJ

A constant state of disarray

I am covered in dog, cat, hair, puke, and what I hope and will for my mental safety assume us cat dried cat litter.

I am finally able to sit down after a day of cleaning up after the 5 minions, the Citizen Kayne the Canine. And of course Jeci my sisters three cats, and my fours masters of feline destruction.

Crash managed to get some computer programs downloaded and help me walk the dog (insert stabbing motion here)

I managed to clean the yard, the animals, the refrigerator, stock the pantry and roll out dinner for 4 thinking Matt was leaving (Jeci's BF) and that the Boyz were coming home. NOT the case.

So tomorrow I have time to apply to the coop, apply for school (going back to school to become a counselor) as well as hopefully clean some more.

I had to separate the boy cats from the girls because they are becoming fractious.

I heard constant screaming and crying and there is a TINY girl cat that needs to grow a little and not be picked on. Plus I am hoping the Mama cat Allie will let her nurse some more.

I realize that I need to throw Vegas pictures up here but I was unaware that my house was DESTROYED while I was gone and thus I need to do a laundromat run and some serious house and yard work before I will have time for sitting at a computer.

x's and O's

KJ

City of the lost

Back from Las Vegas. Went to an art show or three while I was there and was privledged enough to tour a printing factory and stay with two animation artist. They say starving artists they are NOT KIDDING.

I spend a good 500.00 of money that was given to me for a posh hotel room and spent it on art, food and clothing for artists that I befriended or whom were long time friends of mine and I don't regret a SINGLE PENNEY.

I have two more foster kittens. A tiny calico who is very skittish who we call Penney Lane and a marbleized cat whom has no name yet.

Really the kitten has no personality to speak of as of yet. Maybe we should call him Stan.

Allie the mama cat is turning out to be quite a little lover. She enjoys sitting in your lap, looking out the window, and eating.

Avery is a devil. He enjoys playing,eating a crap and a nap.

Maddie is still quite shy, tolerates being picked up after a chase, tolerates petting but is afraid, and needs to be socialized.

Avery needs to get neutered and then he will be ready for adoption.

He and Mama are both adoption ready and Avery especially needs more room to run around and destroy, erm I mean explore things.

Job front I have applied for part time work at Barnes and Nobles, Wegmans (shudder) and again at St. Joseph hospital.

I am also looking at going back to school to be a counselor and working part time at the college would really help me out. So I am going to apply to be a temp there.

Avery is in my socks throwing them on the floor so I must end this entry.

More on Vegas with slut pictures and madness later, ah there goes my underwear drawer.. later kids.

KJ

Bad attitude

So I swear no one listens to me.

Thats why I want to be a counselor Because I want people to feel listened to.

I am going to Las Vegas with the kids by myself and I don't know anyone, but I know I want to go to China town and The First Friday event.

Then it will practically be time to go home.

But while I was there I was hoping to have an MP3 player or Computer to entertain myself.

Not so.

My sister is leaving her laptop here and my fiance refused to buy me a new MP3 plyaer even though my ipod shuffle (the ancient lighter style thing) was stolen.

So now I am off to Vegas with 2 books, some TV, 100 bucks and no friends.

WiFi but no computer, money but HELLO I am not walking around the strip by myself at night?!

BUGGER!

What did I get myself into...

KJ

Las Vegas, Las Veeeegas....

So My Sister is going to send me to Las Vegas and I am buying myself an early birthday present THIS most likely I will be not getting it until my birthday but still.

I am going to be going online to see what stuff there is to do in Las Vegas while I am there, that will tell me how long I am going to stay. My sister wants me to stay for a week. I could see myself doing it.

More likely I need to get going on finding a job.

So far there have been little or no leads and bills are looking ominous.

Crash almost outright refuses to get another job. I am looking at the local food coop and Wegmand for part time work and looking at VESID and Healthy NY.

Being partially disabled really sucks, especially at so young.

Today I feel it though. I am sore and tired and hot even with AC on. I can't wait to go home and crawl into bed, I am thinking Ice cream for dinner.

Yeah, Its been that kind of day.

KJ

Tough Decisions

So I have had an attack of Fibro, Swelling, and some gastro that made me dizzy, nauseous and forgetful because of the sheer amount of pills I have had to take.

I have missed two days of work.

Not ok.

I have finished my work but I have some Vegfest things that I don't have copied of here and really need to get done.

I will get them done tomorrow.

I have the Foster Mother and kittens from The North side staying in my office. She lets me hold her in my lap and looks hardly more than a kitten herself. We call her Allie.

She has two kittens Tigris and Maddie. Both are almost as big as her and still nursing.

They are adorable.

See Here:

Allie:



Tigris:



Maddie:



In other News Kayne having recovered from being neutered is being his own self. I found out they didn't give him pain meds and didn't give him pain medication because they thought I was going to Euthanize him.

Holy Cruel.

So having some on hand I called a friend of mine who is a vet and dosed him accordingly. He immediately seemed better and stopped peeing uncontrollably and growling at us and whimpering. He truly was in a lot of pain and scared out of his mind. All hail the power of narcotics!

He is almost being his old self today, snuggling a lot.

I snapped this pic:



Very appropriate.

Hope you and yours are well.

KJ

This Grey Ghost

Lately I've been a Grey Ghost.

Passing through this house I call home, and volunteering, and working, and being sick on a daily basis, and trying to find future employment and manifesting a destiny.

Its been somewhat like I am living someone elses life and watching from outside.

Every time I think, this is not good, it turns out OK. Not great, not fantastic, not horribly array, just, grey.

Kane was neutered and then they said "you should euthaize this dog,he isn't worth saving.

It hit me in my heart. They didn't see the dog who cuddled in bed, was so gentle with my autistic nephew, played with the hose, was afraid of getting his feet wet when he peed, liked playing hide and seek. They saw a Pit Bull Mix who had been abused and was afraid of a vet and was growling.

I may not be able to save him. I may break my heart when I fail him and have to put him down despite all my best efforts. I know if he bites someone he is getting put down. It will kill me a little. But I will do everything I can to save him because we failed him and he deserves a chance to be a miracle.

We also have is our house a stray mother and two little kittens. They are settling well and everyone is very curious. Jayne keeps wanting to see the kittens, which leads me to believe she would be an excellent foster mom to kittens in the future.

Kane keeps tryingt to sniff kitties and the mother is fiercly protective. They are in a large dog crate.

Mom is already coming and letting me pet her and so is little brother Tigris. Little sister Maddie is scared and doesn't like to be touched by hands we are still at the bath brush stage.

small steps!

best,

KJ




"Grey Ghost" Mike Doughty

Oh in the grey
Grey ghost that I call home
In the great
Stony lonesome I call home
In the grey
Grey ghost that I call home
In the grey grey ghost that I call home

Oh he will not
Walk out the river now
He will not walk out the river
He will not walk out the river
Singing don't fall through the stars
Don't fall through them
Don't fall through the stars
Don't fall through them
On the docks in Memphis with the boombox, nodding out
Singing don't fall through the stars
Don't fall through them
Don¹t fall through the stars

In the trail of the barge
And the light upon the brine
He has slaked these thoughts
And the rostov undelighted, signing
Don't fall through the stars
Sleepy-eyed the man is wading out into the night
Singing don't fall through the stars

Manifest Destiny

So. I've manifestered.

I sage smudged, cleaned, shat, showered and shaved, and I got two interviews out of the ordeal. Kudo's to manifestering!

Monday I am taking my beloved pooch Kane K. Micheal on a road trip to get his Testicles reduced. Thus lowering his ability to get testicular cancer and impregnate young bitches.

Aw whom I kidding. The young man is getting the slice and dice.

I'm going to be giving him a half a valium before we drive so he is easier to manage and I have been practicing on him with the stethoscope and showing him a needle. I even did a blood draw (done em a THOUSANd times people don't send me angry letters) and he was a GOOD BOY)

We practiced injecting him with saline and feeling him up around strangers and he understands that means he gets a TINY kiss each time he is good.

Also I will be there with him, in my scrubs, assisting the entire time.

So they were thrilled to have extra hands on deck.

I am going to go to the grocery store now. get bread and some other crap and then off to AC. its 92 degrees here!

Great. The Drummers came. The drummer who always try to get free rental space without paying. Who come in and say "Steve said", or "Ray said",or "we always pay later", and they always come at 4:45 and then say "We will be back at 5!"

So I end up staying late.

I hate them I really do. I am starting the lock down process and if they are not here at 3 minutes to 5 I am locking them out and leaving.

Cheng Kee- Little Brother Lost

I remember when I was a sophmore in college and my mom told me I had a "little brother" I knew right away it was a dog. See growing up with a grandmotherly patriarch we did NOT have a dog. Nor a cat until I was almost a Senior in highschool (one cat) then a sophmore in college (one dog, my mothers)

Now I was sitting in my basement of my apartment with my sister Jeci waiting for my mother and her new dog called a cheeba inuit? or some none sense.

Turns out it was a Shiba Inu and when my mom pulled up and his fuzzy little head popped up over the seat and he ran over to say hello I was instantly smitten (and immediately peed on)

As the years rolled on each summer and break I would come home to visit my "little brother" taking him out for treats at Petco where he had an AVID fan club. Taking him to the Comic book shop (yet another fan club. Even at the Office where he got his shots, I took my cat Billy to get a booster and the woman said "Your total is $35.61 How is Cheng-Kee!?"

We went on road trips, drank from Niagara falls, moved me from Minnesota to New York and celebrated holidays together.

He always remembered me and it warmed my heart that even going blind with diabetes he knew me.

Today July 8 2008 Cheng Kee passed away from cancer in the loving arms of his owner Linda Manlove.

Consequently, We decided Crash and I, that the dog abandoned on our front porch we are going to keep.

So in honor or a great dog we name our dog Kane-Kee Micheal Armstrong.

Cheng-Kee Manlove you will be remembered for the wide shiba smile and always being a sympathetic ear, a huge heart and a gentle soul and I hole Kane can inherit half the wisdom you leave behind.

Love always your little sister,

KJ

Dodging a bullet

So I was catching up with two very good friends of mine who were both Army friends and both shared the same prowess and belief in sexuality as I did.

I just found out that both of them have herpes and one of them has herpes and genital warts.

We all followed the same safe sex guidelines, dated the same types of people, and pretty much hung around the same crowd and had the same batting average to put it delicately but I came out with a totally clean whistle and both of them have life long diseases.

When I asked if they knew when they got it they both said it was probably one of the times they had been in a committed relationship, had gone on the pill and stopped using safe safer sex protection.

WTH?!

I never did that shit. My parents taught me that unless you were married or together and both tested for STD's TOGETHER you didn't pull that crap. Besides which the pill made me insane and I didn't want to go on it.

So maybe I didn't dodge a bullet, but kept my defenses up against potential enemies longer than my comrades.

Makes you think.

Great day so why do I feel so bad?

So I went to work, got out of a superbly boring meeting (woot!) then had a pleasantly productive day and an interview and doctor's appointment scheduled (double woot!) THEN I got a ride home and walking up the stairs tripped and thought I don't want to have to let the dog out...only to find that Kane being let out by the Crash! (WOOT!)

So I go upstairs, make some dinner, spend time with the catren and dog foster. read a bit, take a shower and am playing with the dog when he growls and snaps at me. Luckily since I worked with wolves I catch the warning signs and immediately see the warning grab his nape, flip him over and scream him stupid. then crate him while I gain my cool.

I realized my error, we are playing with his BONE. his PORCH bone. And I am on his level and was by his mouth. It was so absurdly stupid and now that I think about it I am wanting to take the same bone and hit myself over the head several times in consequetive thuds and say "stupid" over and over until the memory is gone.

I NEVER let his "play" with the bone. It is soley a relaxation toy. The boys never are allowed to "take it" from him and Kane always is told to "leave it" when its time to go inside. Its just too hard for him to let go of it.

Some toys and objects are triggers. I knew that and not only did I let him take the bone in but I was PLAYING with it with him.

I feel so bad I think I want to go give him a treat. But then he will be thinkng his actions were acceptable and they weren't. But truly, neither were mine.

We are still quite the ambiguously stupid duo.

KJ

My theme song as of late?

Your Misfortune

When your faith in life is gone
Come and speak to me
When you’re down and all messed up
Seek my sympathy

When everybody says no, no, no
Well it’s
Your misfortune and none of my own
Wrong, wrong, wrong
Well it’s your misfortune that sweetens my song

I can be the friend you want
I can be your confidante
I can be the right reminder at the right time
Throwing out the lifeline

Stand in the light. Stand in the light. Stand in the light.

When everybody says no, no, no
Well it’s
Your misfortune and none of my own
Wrong, wrong, wrong
Well it’s your misfortune that sweetens my song

When your face is caked with mud
Come and speak to me
When the chill creeps in your blood
Seek my sympathy

When everybody says no, no, no
Well it’s
Your misfortune and none of my own
Wrong, wrong, wrong
Well it’s your misfortune that sweetens my song

I can be the air you drink
Every single thought you think
I can be the right notion in the meantime
Warm you like the sunshine

Stand in the light. Stand in the light. Stand in the light.

Not much more I can say. I wish someone could lift me up.

That person is my Nana, it used to be my sister, now she is too far gone in her own misfortune to help me. My Uncle Mike acutally used to be great at telling me funny things about his work or just listening or giving me a hug and I would forget about my here and now for a while. I mis his voice and his hugs when I feel like this. This song reminds me of him. He was like standing in a warm spot of sun.

KJ

WTF?! I am flypaper for morons

OK. That's it. THAT is the straw. THE F-ING STRAW!

I want to go to a place in the middle of the woods where no one is and be by myself. No more people, They are a constant disappointment.

I have been pissed on , shat on , sat on dropped from great heights, and spit on by karma and all his and her henchmen and smiled and took it.

I have tried to just take it with a smile when people said craptastic things to me and just brush it off as people being mean and letting it go. But this is IT!

I need a break before someone else gets my wrath who doesn't deserve to be unleashed upon!!!

I had NIMO turn off my electric after I sent them 200 of a 400 dollar bill. I was 97 cents short so they turned my power off without giving me 72 hours to come up with 97 cents.
It took them 2 days to turn it back on again and my dad's lawyers went apeshit on them because I have medical equipment that I use that NEEDS electricity that I had to use a gasoline generator on the back porch strung into the house. to run the fridge and my massage chair for my legs and back.

But we still had no hot water for 24 hours and i had to walk to my sisters house down stairs and had no heat in my apartment and it was 55 degrees in my apartment and I was freezing.

Today I am so tired from lack of sleep I spent the entire day fighting off falling asleep at my desk.

So this woman who sexually harassed me who didn't get reprimanded for it and still volunteers here and calls me "Beautiful" all the time *shudder* is caught carrying a fillet knife in her purse.

I ask her why she is taking a fillet knife from the westcott, she says she was going to return it, she needed it for protection. (???!!!)

Same woman whose dog mauled a friend of mine and permanently disfigured his leg with NO PROVOCATION. Who I (as a dog lover and trainer, and advocate) told Dog control if they ever see it lose it should be immediately euthanized because it isn't sane anymore.

So this crazy woman comes in today and accuses a retired police woman of stealing (wait for it) her frozen cinnamon buns.

I'll say it again.

FROZEN....CINNAMON....BUNS....

The lady says that the older gentle men gave everyone some of them and Katie suddenly snatches them from her and then starts saying that she is a thief and that those are hers and she doesn't tolerate thieves. The woman being a retired cop takes offense and says "You can keep the damn buns but you apologize for calling me a thief you are a liar! Your rolls are probably with your purse in the kitchen!"

Crazy Woman turns around takes the frozen rolls and strikes the woman in the arm with the rolls. You heard me crazy bitch HITS HER!

Then as everyone starts screaming and yelling and carrying on the Senior adviser and I come out of the office like a shot and come out to see whats the matter. I see the older retired cop crying and know something is wrong. The Senior adviser turns and starts reaming the crazy bitch out telling her she needs to leave immediately. I come in, tell the senior adviser to leave and assist the injured person. I tell the crazy lady "You have assaulted someone. You have 2 minutes to get yourself as far from here as possible before the police get here, I don't even owe you that."

Then I watched her leave, and called the police, wrote a assault charge, put it on record with the PD here and performed First aid and made an appointment with Prompt care for the assault victim and drove her over.

So upon returning back I hear that the my jerk of a boss had come back and didn't even want to hear about what happened and only said "Send me the bill"

JERK!

Then a bitch calls on the phone and when I am telling her the booking agent has gone for the day and that I will leave a message she says snottily "So what do you do? answer the phone and write down messages?! Tough Job!"

I wanted to HIT the woman over the phone!

I handle crazy people, rescue animals, work or human rights campaign, raise my nephews, and help other people who suffer from degenerative disc disease and Syringomyelia like I do.

At my job now I just made an art manual for inner city kids, made a volunteer manual, and totally remade a 1,500 member art list mailing so that next years art trail will be better attended and publicized.

So NO, I don't do NOTHING but write down messages you brainless bellydancer I mean who spells Shellie; CHelle'

SnAP!

Bitches.

KJ

Muther Flippin.....

This actually made my day.

Made me crack up too.



Have a laugh even if it IS monday

KJ

Ponytail Haricutting

I am a fan of the brittish show "Celebrity Scissorhands" and recently saw this on You Tube and had to link it here



I am ready for a haircut and am thinking that I might have to do this.

Apparently the more you pull the pony tail forward the more layers you get and then you cut into the end of the pony edge or "shaving brush" as it is reffered to and it gives you the choppy layers.

So depending on degrees you could have very gradual or almost no layers at all.

As I said before, I really may have to try this as my hair has almost no body at all.

KJ

Makes me feel better

more cat pictures

"If only the Itty Bitty Kitty Fire Brigade Came to put da Couch Fire Out"

With TINY little red helmets and NoMex turnout gear!

KJ