Monday, June 23, 2008

Great day so why do I feel so bad?

So I went to work, got out of a superbly boring meeting (woot!) then had a pleasantly productive day and an interview and doctor's appointment scheduled (double woot!) THEN I got a ride home and walking up the stairs tripped and thought I don't want to have to let the dog out...only to find that Kane being let out by the Crash! (WOOT!)

So I go upstairs, make some dinner, spend time with the catren and dog foster. read a bit, take a shower and am playing with the dog when he growls and snaps at me. Luckily since I worked with wolves I catch the warning signs and immediately see the warning grab his nape, flip him over and scream him stupid. then crate him while I gain my cool.

I realized my error, we are playing with his BONE. his PORCH bone. And I am on his level and was by his mouth. It was so absurdly stupid and now that I think about it I am wanting to take the same bone and hit myself over the head several times in consequetive thuds and say "stupid" over and over until the memory is gone.

I NEVER let his "play" with the bone. It is soley a relaxation toy. The boys never are allowed to "take it" from him and Kane always is told to "leave it" when its time to go inside. Its just too hard for him to let go of it.

Some toys and objects are triggers. I knew that and not only did I let him take the bone in but I was PLAYING with it with him.

I feel so bad I think I want to go give him a treat. But then he will be thinkng his actions were acceptable and they weren't. But truly, neither were mine.

We are still quite the ambiguously stupid duo.


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