Friday, May 29, 2009

When the spring goes stagnant

Now that I am writing articles that are possibly going to be read by people whose opinions I am concerned about, suddenly things such as grammar, punctuation, and spelling become extremely important. More important that those is having a topic that people want to read about.

I can talk about my dog, my cats, my collection of Simpsons and Vintage my little ponies. But unless you are a American Bulldog lover or a 5 year old I have already lost your attention.

SO what brings the reader in? What draws us to the perfect article?

The fact is we all want to hear something that makes us feel better. Either about the world or about ourselves. Whether it is about the three legged dog that can detect cancer, or the hooker who now managed a hospice for people with AIDS. Sad stories with tough but happy endings are usually goldmines.

I have some of those. Actually I have quite a spring of those. In my life it seems friends have gathered themselves to me who have come from the same stock as myself and we have come together and cobbled ourselves into a semblance of toughness.

The rpough point being, while we have tough stories of obstacles overcome and hardships averted to sell, we're not selling even if they're buying.

So our pool runs stagnant at times for fodder for the mill.

A fellow author and co-patriot of this "Land of misfit kids" from whence I sprang and I discussed our lack of selling our stories despite the public seeming to devour the personal story of trauma overcome.

We tried to rationalize it to one and other. Just to see if we could, to practice in a way in case the question ever came up from an editor. Oddly enough it never has. We have been good enough at finding stories however obscure as to not dig up our personal dirt and lay it out for the public to feast on.

Neither of us could rationalize why we couldn't or wouldn't do it. We just knew that it was never going to happen. It wasn't shame, or fear, or protection. If I ever did s memoir or a bibliography it would be a comic and it would be free with a donation to Hoenwald elephant sanctuary.

I would tell my story to a friend over beers in a bar or during a camp out. I have and probably would again.

But I would not feel comfortable knowing somewhere soccer mom's were having an Oprah's book club about my childhood and how it related to their upper middle class existence.

It would not be OK with me, even if it paid my rent.

My friend laughed at me and said. "That is all you would have to say."

More stories up on Associated Content soon, Keep checking please.


Sunday, May 10, 2009

The agony of da feet- confessions of a shoe nut

Persons with neurological disorders such as syringomyelia and neuropathic pain will tell you that there is nothing worse than aching hot feet.

So when a person with serious neuropathy and foot pain goes out to find shoes it is not a quick trip to payless BOGO or a cute little boutique window that hd the most darling little sling backs.

Oh no dear reader. When we go shoe shopping, you should bring a book.

First off there will be our regular haunts. The AJ Wrights, Marhsalls, TJ Maxx's, and DSW' shoe stores where we will first scope out and handle every single possibility in footwear before even trying anything on. The first day is rarely successful.

It usually ends with lunch in a food court where the we the shoe nut will bring up gladiolas or turtle food. Leaving you the victim to stare dazed and confused as visions of shoelaces dance in your head.

That night will find the shoe nut online and on the phone talking to customer service agents and shoe specialists (yes there are shoe specialists!) asking them what new things have been brought to the forefront for persons with foot pain.

Comparing with the notes the shoe nut has already compiled (Yes she has notes!) She will look for the brand names of these specific shoes and see if she can talk to consultants from those companies or go to stores that feature that brand.

After all this work she will narrow it down to the top three shoe styles under 100.00
Because having done the research she know that she wears her shoes out in an average of 6-10 months and refuses to spend more than 100.00 on a pair of shoes that she very well may have to replace again before the year is over.

Now she goes and tried on the three pairs of shoes. She jumps, walks, squats, she repeats with each shoe.

Then she goes home and sleeps on it.

Finally she decides which shoe she is going to buy, buys it, takes it home, carefully seals and waterproofs it, puts in her orthotics, and begins to break them in around the house.

Another pair is born. Until its time to retire them to the Rescue mission or the garden working pile.


Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Some indoor fun on rainy days

So its dark and gloomy and my after school kids are going insane because we haven't gotten them outside.

So today on a whim I downloaded some templates for some paper planes.

You remember those don't you? The ones you did in class that were perpetually confiscated and put into the teachers drawer next to whoopie cushions and MAD magazine Never to be seen again?

Well for all of you who still are kids like me, or who have kids ( like me) here is a little fun for those days you just can't go outside to romp in the sun.