When the spring goes stagnant

Now that I am writing articles that are possibly going to be read by people whose opinions I am concerned about, suddenly things such as grammar, punctuation, and spelling become extremely important. More important that those is having a topic that people want to read about.

I can talk about my dog, my cats, my collection of Simpsons and Vintage my little ponies. But unless you are a American Bulldog lover or a 5 year old I have already lost your attention.

SO what brings the reader in? What draws us to the perfect article?

The fact is we all want to hear something that makes us feel better. Either about the world or about ourselves. Whether it is about the three legged dog that can detect cancer, or the hooker who now managed a hospice for people with AIDS. Sad stories with tough but happy endings are usually goldmines.

I have some of those. Actually I have quite a spring of those. In my life it seems friends have gathered themselves to me who have come from the same stock as myself and we have come together and cobbled ourselves into a semblance of toughness.

The rpough point being, while we have tough stories of obstacles overcome and hardships averted to sell, we're not selling even if they're buying.

So our pool runs stagnant at times for fodder for the mill.

A fellow author and co-patriot of this "Land of misfit kids" from whence I sprang and I discussed our lack of selling our stories despite the public seeming to devour the personal story of trauma overcome.

We tried to rationalize it to one and other. Just to see if we could, to practice in a way in case the question ever came up from an editor. Oddly enough it never has. We have been good enough at finding stories however obscure as to not dig up our personal dirt and lay it out for the public to feast on.

Neither of us could rationalize why we couldn't or wouldn't do it. We just knew that it was never going to happen. It wasn't shame, or fear, or protection. If I ever did s memoir or a bibliography it would be a comic and it would be free with a donation to Hoenwald elephant sanctuary.

I would tell my story to a friend over beers in a bar or during a camp out. I have and probably would again.

But I would not feel comfortable knowing somewhere soccer mom's were having an Oprah's book club about my childhood and how it related to their upper middle class existence.

It would not be OK with me, even if it paid my rent.

My friend laughed at me and said. "That is all you would have to say."

More stories up on Associated Content soon, Keep checking please.

KJ

The agony of da feet- confessions of a shoe nut

Persons with neurological disorders such as syringomyelia and neuropathic pain will tell you that there is nothing worse than aching hot feet.

So when a person with serious neuropathy and foot pain goes out to find shoes it is not a quick trip to payless BOGO or a cute little boutique window that hd the most darling little sling backs.

Oh no dear reader. When we go shoe shopping, you should bring a book.

First off there will be our regular haunts. The AJ Wrights, Marhsalls, TJ Maxx's, and DSW' shoe stores where we will first scope out and handle every single possibility in footwear before even trying anything on. The first day is rarely successful.

It usually ends with lunch in a food court where the we the shoe nut will bring up gladiolas or turtle food. Leaving you the victim to stare dazed and confused as visions of shoelaces dance in your head.

That night will find the shoe nut online and on the phone talking to customer service agents and shoe specialists (yes there are shoe specialists!) asking them what new things have been brought to the forefront for persons with foot pain.

Comparing with the notes the shoe nut has already compiled (Yes she has notes!) She will look for the brand names of these specific shoes and see if she can talk to consultants from those companies or go to stores that feature that brand.

After all this work she will narrow it down to the top three shoe styles under 100.00
Because having done the research she know that she wears her shoes out in an average of 6-10 months and refuses to spend more than 100.00 on a pair of shoes that she very well may have to replace again before the year is over.

Now she goes and tried on the three pairs of shoes. She jumps, walks, squats, she repeats with each shoe.

Then she goes home and sleeps on it.

Finally she decides which shoe she is going to buy, buys it, takes it home, carefully seals and waterproofs it, puts in her orthotics, and begins to break them in around the house.

Another pair is born. Until its time to retire them to the Rescue mission or the garden working pile.

KJ

Some indoor fun on rainy days

So its dark and gloomy and my after school kids are going insane because we haven't gotten them outside.

So today on a whim I downloaded some templates for some paper planes.

You remember those don't you? The ones you did in class that were perpetually confiscated and put into the teachers drawer next to whoopie cushions and MAD magazine Never to be seen again?

Well for all of you who still are kids like me, or who have kids ( like me) here is a little fun for those days you just can't go outside to romp in the sun.

http://www.funpaperairplanes.com/index.html

KJ

For fellow freebie lovers and bookworms

I just found this from a fellow Bibliophile and went SQWUEEEE! and vowed to print out one in every color on cardstock for my personal use and my nephew!

These are so damn cute!

(http://jinjerup.blogspot.com/2009/04/freebies-chick-chic-bookmark.html)

I never heard of this lady before but when accidentally stumbling upon her post via reading a friends bibliophile post I went over board cooing over her chick bookmarks when I noticed she had made them!

So get your spring craft on and share and share a like! Make one fore your fellow Bibliophile and Also she recommends laminating with contact paper which is a pretty good idea. But you could also just slap a coat of Mod podge on.

KJ

4/20/2009- Family Guy Bag Of Weed Song

Family Guy: Bag of Weed song

This song had me laughing so hard I nearly had to change my pants. Happy 4/20 everyone who knows what that means. Not that I partake but I still find it hilarious.

And D Minor makes Three?

So recently Crash and I gained a minor.

Our godson/nephew moved in with us.

So far its been the honey moon stage, eating together, playing games, getting ready for school. But the thing is, we have all been living together and he has been staying here or sleeping over for almost an entire year anyway, now his crap is here.

In short, the only thing that changed is his mom has to call and ask me to speak to him or come up and knock if she wants to talk to him.

I got phone lists, change of address forms, additional guardian forms, and sworn lawyer statements with legal agreements stating I am a legal guardian and he is my minor. I am now even able to claim him as a minor and able to make doctor's appointments! Which let me tell you is BIZARRE!

This came about because my sister said that she couldn't handle having two children and neither custodial parent wanted to take him. They were planning to send him to an unfit situation in Las Vegas with a family member and when I found out Crash and I put our foot down.

Changes were made immediately.

So now, despite all my efforts. I am a parent of a 10 year old.

Summer is coming up and I apparently don't have work and Crash got a job that is stellar. "D minor's" other guardians want him to visit family in Nevada, Hawaii, Minnesota, and Canada. The D has a younger brother who can't fly alone because of emotional issues and medication needs so they asked me if I would fly out with the boys, stay for a week in a hotel, and then fly back.

I have family in Nevada and Minnesota but Hawaii?! ALOHA!? I also want to take D' minor camping because he has never been. I don't want the entire summer spent inside playing computer, reading, and playing video games. Granted we will be traveling a LOT but still.

This weekend was spend with D'minor and his smaller emotionally disturbed brother whom I had to physically restrain numerous times this weekend. I am so mentally and physically exhausted from this boy I can't even go into detail the amount of time, energy and patience he sucked out of D'minor, Crash and myself.

By the time we got home and saw his mother was there we piled out of the car, clomped upstairs made tea and sat on the front porch in silence just being quiet.

Then D' minor said "Next weekend, we run away where they can't find us and stay until monday!"

I luaghed so hard my sides hurt!

Its still the honeymoon phase, maybe more likely we are the odd couple and were meant to be together all along.

KJ

Fancy Cheese Man and Cougars

OK, so this story had me laughing so hard I almost had the wee's.

http://open.salon.com/blog/tequilaanddonuts/2008/11/24/mom_goes_to_wholefoods