Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Bad attitude

So I swear no one listens to me.

Thats why I want to be a counselor Because I want people to feel listened to.

I am going to Las Vegas with the kids by myself and I don't know anyone, but I know I want to go to China town and The First Friday event.

Then it will practically be time to go home.

But while I was there I was hoping to have an MP3 player or Computer to entertain myself.

Not so.

My sister is leaving her laptop here and my fiance refused to buy me a new MP3 plyaer even though my ipod shuffle (the ancient lighter style thing) was stolen.

So now I am off to Vegas with 2 books, some TV, 100 bucks and no friends.

WiFi but no computer, money but HELLO I am not walking around the strip by myself at night?!


What did I get myself into...


Monday, July 28, 2008

Las Vegas, Las Veeeegas....

So My Sister is going to send me to Las Vegas and I am buying myself an early birthday present THIS most likely I will be not getting it until my birthday but still.

I am going to be going online to see what stuff there is to do in Las Vegas while I am there, that will tell me how long I am going to stay. My sister wants me to stay for a week. I could see myself doing it.

More likely I need to get going on finding a job.

So far there have been little or no leads and bills are looking ominous.

Crash almost outright refuses to get another job. I am looking at the local food coop and Wegmand for part time work and looking at VESID and Healthy NY.

Being partially disabled really sucks, especially at so young.

Today I feel it though. I am sore and tired and hot even with AC on. I can't wait to go home and crawl into bed, I am thinking Ice cream for dinner.

Yeah, Its been that kind of day.


Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Tough Decisions

So I have had an attack of Fibro, Swelling, and some gastro that made me dizzy, nauseous and forgetful because of the sheer amount of pills I have had to take.

I have missed two days of work.

Not ok.

I have finished my work but I have some Vegfest things that I don't have copied of here and really need to get done.

I will get them done tomorrow.

I have the Foster Mother and kittens from The North side staying in my office. She lets me hold her in my lap and looks hardly more than a kitten herself. We call her Allie.

She has two kittens Tigris and Maddie. Both are almost as big as her and still nursing.

They are adorable.

See Here:


Allie one the lap




Sweet Maddie

In other News Kayne having recovered from being neutered is being his own self. I found out they didn't give him pain meds and didn't give him pain medication because they thought I was going to Euthanize him.

Holy Cruel.

So having some on hand I called a friend of mine who is a vet and dosed him accordingly. He immediately seemed better and stopped peeing uncontrollably and growling at us and whimpering. He truly was in a lot of pain and scared out of his mind. All hail the power of narcotics!

He is almost being his old self today, snuggling a lot.

I snapped this pic:

Psyche Ward!

Very appropriate.

Hope you and yours are well.


Tuesday, July 22, 2008

This Grey Ghost

Lately I've been a Grey Ghost.

Passing through this house I call home, and volunteering, and working, and being sick on a daily basis, and trying to find future employment and manifesting a destiny.

Its been somewhat like I am living someone elses life and watching from outside.

Every time I think, this is not good, it turns out OK. Not great, not fantastic, not horribly array, just, grey.

Kane was neutered and then they said "you should euthaize this dog,he isn't worth saving.

It hit me in my heart. They didn't see the dog who cuddled in bed, was so gentle with my autistic nephew, played with the hose, was afraid of getting his feet wet when he peed, liked playing hide and seek. They saw a Pit Bull Mix who had been abused and was afraid of a vet and was growling.

I may not be able to save him. I may break my heart when I fail him and have to put him down despite all my best efforts. I know if he bites someone he is getting put down. It will kill me a little. But I will do everything I can to save him because we failed him and he deserves a chance to be a miracle.

We also have is our house a stray mother and two little kittens. They are settling well and everyone is very curious. Jayne keeps wanting to see the kittens, which leads me to believe she would be an excellent foster mom to kittens in the future.

Kane keeps tryingt to sniff kitties and the mother is fiercly protective. They are in a large dog crate.

Mom is already coming and letting me pet her and so is little brother Tigris. Little sister Maddie is scared and doesn't like to be touched by hands we are still at the bath brush stage.

small steps!



"Grey Ghost" Mike Doughty

Oh in the grey
Grey ghost that I call home
In the great
Stony lonesome I call home
In the grey
Grey ghost that I call home
In the grey grey ghost that I call home

Oh he will not
Walk out the river now
He will not walk out the river
He will not walk out the river
Singing don't fall through the stars
Don't fall through them
Don't fall through the stars
Don't fall through them
On the docks in Memphis with the boombox, nodding out
Singing don't fall through the stars
Don't fall through them
Don¹t fall through the stars

In the trail of the barge
And the light upon the brine
He has slaked these thoughts
And the rostov undelighted, signing
Don't fall through the stars
Sleepy-eyed the man is wading out into the night
Singing don't fall through the stars

Friday, July 18, 2008

Manifest Destiny

So. I've manifestered.

I sage smudged, cleaned, shat, showered and shaved, and I got two interviews out of the ordeal. Kudo's to manifestering!

Monday I am taking my beloved pooch Kane K. Micheal on a road trip to get his Testicles reduced. Thus lowering his ability to get testicular cancer and impregnate young bitches.

Aw whom I kidding. The young man is getting the slice and dice.

I'm going to be giving him a half a valium before we drive so he is easier to manage and I have been practicing on him with the stethoscope and showing him a needle. I even did a blood draw (done em a THOUSANd times people don't send me angry letters) and he was a GOOD BOY)

We practiced injecting him with saline and feeling him up around strangers and he understands that means he gets a TINY kiss each time he is good.

Also I will be there with him, in my scrubs, assisting the entire time.

So they were thrilled to have extra hands on deck.

I am going to go to the grocery store now. get bread and some other crap and then off to AC. its 92 degrees here!

Great. The Drummers came. The drummer who always try to get free rental space without paying. Who come in and say "Steve said", or "Ray said",or "we always pay later", and they always come at 4:45 and then say "We will be back at 5!"

So I end up staying late.

I hate them I really do. I am starting the lock down process and if they are not here at 3 minutes to 5 I am locking them out and leaving.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Cheng Kee- Little Brother Lost

I remember when I was a sophmore in college and my mom told me I had a "little brother" I knew right away it was a dog. See growing up with a grandmotherly patriarch we did NOT have a dog. Nor a cat until I was almost a Senior in highschool (one cat) then a sophmore in college (one dog, my mothers)

Now I was sitting in my basement of my apartment with my sister Jeci waiting for my mother and her new dog called a cheeba inuit? or some none sense.

Turns out it was a Shiba Inu and when my mom pulled up and his fuzzy little head popped up over the seat and he ran over to say hello I was instantly smitten (and immediately peed on)

As the years rolled on each summer and break I would come home to visit my "little brother" taking him out for treats at Petco where he had an AVID fan club. Taking him to the Comic book shop (yet another fan club. Even at the Office where he got his shots, I took my cat Billy to get a booster and the woman said "Your total is $35.61 How is Cheng-Kee!?"

We went on road trips, drank from Niagara falls, moved me from Minnesota to New York and celebrated holidays together.

He always remembered me and it warmed my heart that even going blind with diabetes he knew me.

Today July 8 2008 Cheng Kee passed away from cancer in the loving arms of his owner Linda Manlove.

Consequently, We decided Crash and I, that the dog abandoned on our front porch we are going to keep.

So in honor or a great dog we name our dog Kane-Kee Micheal Armstrong.

Cheng-Kee Manlove you will be remembered for the wide shiba smile and always being a sympathetic ear, a huge heart and a gentle soul and I hole Kane can inherit half the wisdom you leave behind.

Love always your little sister,


Thursday, July 03, 2008

Dodging a bullet

So I was catching up with two very good friends of mine who were both Army friends and both shared the same prowess and belief in sexuality as I did.

I just found out that both of them have herpes and one of them has herpes and genital warts.

We all followed the same safe sex guidelines, dated the same types of people, and pretty much hung around the same crowd and had the same batting average to put it delicately but I came out with a totally clean whistle and both of them have life long diseases.

When I asked if they knew when they got it they both said it was probably one of the times they had been in a committed relationship, had gone on the pill and stopped using safe safer sex protection.


I never did that shit. My parents taught me that unless you were married or together and both tested for STD's TOGETHER you didn't pull that crap. Besides which the pill made me insane and I didn't want to go on it.

So maybe I didn't dodge a bullet, but kept my defenses up against potential enemies longer than my comrades.

Makes you think.