Saturday, March 01, 2014

Master Procrasterbater

Despite having been awake at the butt crack of dawn otherwise known as 6AM I am incredibly lethargic today. 

This AM my wonderful neighbors took me to the Farmers Market, Lombardis, Mediterranean Deli, Dominicks meat market, and Nichols Grocery.

OK now that I write that down I am thinking maybe it was NOT such a waste of a day, on top of that trip I made the bed so BOO-YEAH!

I love the farmers market.  I have friends who work at the farmers market.  I am very particular in whom I buy things from when at the Farmers Market, and I trust my neighbor implicitly.  SO I have no gorram explanation for HOW THE HELL I managed to spend 20 dollars on three pounds of beef.

I normally go to Longhorn Farms, get one beef tongue and 3 pounds of ground chuck and if they have it summer sausage.  Grass fed, free range, organic.  Normally about 3 bucks a pound for chuck, 4 bucks a pound for tongue. 

However today I was separated from my neighbor, and on my own, and when telling my friend I was there to buy meat for the next 2 weeks friend (unnamed for their protection) said "HEY! Buy from these people!  they just started selling here!"

Here is where I stop to tell you I am NOT good in social situations.  Avoid buying a car? I can do that, Avoid getting buffed and sprayed by a drive by mall kiosk? professional aversion here.  But when being introduced by a friend to another friend to buy something I was technically looking for (but cheaper dammit!)  I froze.  So when they asked me what I wanted, I said "Um, do you have tongue?"  and they did!  ONE...a 3 pound one... for 12.50.  So what does my dumb ass do?  buys it.  I start to walk away panicked thinking "OK I will just skip buying butter, and get the ground at Longhorn" when my friend says "Didn't you say you needed groundbeef?"

SO much anger. I want to punch this friend in their smiling windpipe.

But no, I smile and say "Yeah, I wanted ground..." before I can finish, lady plops a 2 pound bag of ground beef  and says "8 bucks!"

Stuttering, I hand over a 20 and mentally calculate which personal blood/organs I can peddle at one of the shadier venders in the barns further down.

I have NO IDEA how this happened.  I came home with Squash, Cream Cheese, Bagels, lard (yes lard, don't judge) apples, chocolate chip cookies, Pancetta, Parmesean, and tomato sauce. All of which I was pleased to have, happy to have found.  Then I see the giant frozen beef tongue and tiny bundle of ground beef.  I chucked it into the freezer and slammed the door for good measure.  Only to have the doorbounce bag and smack me right in the face.

The only logical reaction ensued. Me screaming "FUCKING COW!" to a freezer of beef parts.

I turned around to find my husband, both boy cats, and the dog staring wide eyed at me.  After saying "WHAT!?" and stomping into the bedroom to change I began to feel like I had overreacted.

After all, I was introduced the the worlds BEST GOD DAMN BACON in the world today by a tiny italian man, who gave me a 1/4 pound "Gratis" because I was "so cute" damn right I am cute, especially for free bacon!

I got my husband his favorite cookies that reminded him of his childhood and satisfied my own need for farm fresh cream cheese and home made bagels.

Came home, hammered out a few pages of my grad paper before my brain light went dim, then made lunch.  Bagel sammies with Farm Fromage, Pancetta, and runny egg.

I call that a successful damn day.  Especially for a self professed vampire and it was damn bright out today.

Thus I close, more tomorrow, probably not.  We have to go play at being adults and look at cars.

May you all have dark hello kitty sunglasses on bright early days, and not be forced into buying exspensive fucking cow parts (fucking cow)


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