OK! Passing on Love!

The LOVE Boat!!!!

So here be it:

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you. This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make.
- What I create will be just for you.
- It'll be done in the next 12 months.
- You have no clue what it's going to be.
- I reserve the right to do something unusual.

The catch? You have to put this in your blog as well. Pass on the love!

My Sister in Law Black Balled me

I am trying to get over it. Really trying to. But the bitch black balled me.
My Fiance warned me that she was a supremely manipulative bitchy lying mountains out of molehills sell you down the river at the first chance type person but I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

So at the respite site I work relief at a kid tried to choke me and I kinda lost it on him and was a little stern with him, another staff told our supervisor I was a little strict and I should be told to lighten up.

I told her I agreed and my boss sad she was glad we talked and that she didn't think we would have any more problems. My boss then asked my sister in law is my supervisor to give me support to which my sister in law responded with tales of me being strict with her kids, telling my boss that the kids don't like me, telling my boss that the parents don't like me, telling my boss that I put the kids down (which is completely not true SHE puts the kids down and I called her on it on NUMEROUS occasions AND she calls one of the kids a flamer because he acts a little effeminate)

One of the kids hates her so much and hates the other kids so much he begs his mom to please let him not come there because my sister in law was letting the older girls tease and berate him mercilessly until I put an end to it. When I called her on it she said he bugs her and he needed to understand that you can't act like that and be considered "normal" then she black balled me to my boss.

So yeah I was firm with the kids who were being bullies. Because they were MEAN to the little kids and they were REALLY rude and disrespectful to the little kids and to me, AND the their peers and to the teachers in the halls. More than once two kids their left for home in tears because of their teasing and my sister in law shrugged and said "They need tougher skin"

She even told my boss that she thinks I should go work at Roberts but made it sound like it was my bosses idea when I know damn well it was hers. Whatever, Karma has a way of evening things out and I liked working at Roberts better anyways.

Things have a way of working out and you reap what you sow, it still just blows my mind that anyone could be that much of a evil cow.

And she wonders why she has so few friends and no long term relationships?

Bad Day:

Happy Anniversary to me

I have righted a wrong done to me on my anniversary.

I got zip, zero, NADA, nothing special on my anniversary. No backrubs, no coffee on bed, no "Happy Anniversary hunny" no present, NOTHING.

So I took some savings and bought myself two sets of silicone plugs.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Now I am off to read my book and have the last brownie.

Suck it Crash.

KJ

Daibeetus

Is it just me or does my dog resemble Wilferd Brimley the Quaker Oats Man?

"Test your blood sugar, I have Diabeetus"



Serious jowls. He's getting chubby too

KJ

Planet B-Boy

I want to be these guys.



Srs, mad skillz

kj

1AM-True Blood and Teddy Pendergrass

I think the one thing I can thank my parents for is introducing me to Jazz. Through my ongoing musical education in my childhood I easily name Teddy Pendergrass, Luther Vandross, and Chaka Khan as three of my favorite singer.

The fact that at 2 I was squeaking "Hey thats Lena Horne!" When she was the good witch in The Wiz and can guiltily say I have original Jackson 5 Albums on Vinyl...

Yes I had an early lesson on Jazz, Motown, and Blues. So it comes to little surprise that when I have to meditate to get my mind off my pain its not Tibetan monks or whale song that I put in my music player but Teddy Pendergrass "Love TKO"

I've also been watching episodes of True Blood Season 1. DAMN. Talk about Vmpire Pee-oh-rn!
In the famous words of Lafayette "Child, make me clutch my pearls!"

And no, I am not buying seasons and seasons of online shows. Thanks to Crash the computer guru I found I can search for Torrents and downlad just about anything I want to watch on http://scrapetorrent.com/

We are loving it so much we donated money and have a e-mail relationship with the mod.

Crash and I are constantly seeding things and uploading movies we get to the site.

I've even traded some music with the guy in the form of "mixtapes" trying to get him into Old Skool Hip hip and political rap like Dead Prez.

He laughed when he saw my picture saying the only part of me that looked black was my ass.

nice.

So, go on youtube listen to some teddy, Chaka, or Luther, hell try Lena Horne! And if you want to get some videos but like me are short on cash (Thanks Bush!) Try uTorrent and Scrapetorrent.

Tell them KJ and Crash sent ya!

Heartless Bitch International

Its about time everyone knew the truth.

KJ

Had us all howling

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibhATPgzDXc

This had my dog howling and trying to sit in my lap.

Consequently had Crash and I laughing our fool butts off.

KJ

again with the insomnia.

because of pain in my neck and back I was up until 5AM.

And tomorrow I am supposed to work.

I am going to work and thats about it.

Seriously. Pain like this drives me insane.

KJ

Jim Butcher is a god.

I remember seeing a softcover book by Jim Butcher in the "Book Recycle" pile in my crappy office during my three year stint with Americorp.

As often I had loads of free time on my hands and staring at the computer made my eyes hurt I had finished my book and had hours to kill before my shift ended.

I absently picked up the book "The dresden files" by Jim Butcher.

It has been almost four years and I have read every Dresden book I could get, Then The "Codex Alera" series and watched pirated copies of the "Dresden Files" that SciFi channel was stupid enough to discontinue.

Let me being by saying even I get bored by authors, skip paragraphs, stop reading a book. Hell Even Piers Anthony has some books that I just had to stop reading because I was so bored.

There are a handful of authors who hold my attention so soundly that I own everything they write. Ann McCaffrey, Issac Asimov (especially anything with Norby the mixed up Robot)Mercedes Lackey, Spider Robinson, and Jim Butcher.

It is a difficult place to get to, my high horse list of "F*^&ing awesome writers" but Jim Butcher is one of those writers who I will recommend to each and everyone of my reader friends.

As it is I have made several friends of mine in to "Butcher Brigands" They too own every book he has written and have 2nd copies to lend out as "loaners"

I've no doubt that Jim Butcher will never know how much I love his writing. I'm sure the royalties alone assure him of his deep fan base. But to those of you not yet in the know, even if you don't like Sci-fi, or Fantasy, or war. If you are simply a fan of great authors; get yourself to a bookstore and read Jim Butcher.

And if he ever asks, tell him KJ sent you.

KJ

My new chocolate...

Burn Notice, the USA Show on HULU.com

It is the best spy show I have watched in a long time. It is realistic enough and not too over the top. Makes having spies believable. The actors in it are quality and draw you in without being overactive.

The polt is new each week and is reminiscent of Macgyver it is a new series that I hope unlike the "Dresden Files" will catch on and stay here for a while.

KJ

The grey space between good and evil

It is 3:30 AM and I am again struck with insomnia. Things worry me, the same things as most times I have insomnia; Money, The dog, and my weight.

As someone who suffers from chronic pain and the natural depression that rides along in its coat tales, this is not a recent occurrence. But these episodes seem to come along more frequently since I have been sick and jobless.

Add in a dog with serious fear aggression and it spells for a recipe chock full of sleepless nights. Many people tell me "Did you think that maybe there is nothing else you can do and its time to put the dog down?"

And in my evil thoughts, I considered it. I thought as scared as this dog is, does it take away from the happiness he has with us? Is this a completely hopeless situation? Trainers tell me no, and so does my gut, but the rational mind is not so easily appeased.

The thing that keeps me working with him is the same thing that keeps me working on me. Its not entirely his fault he is so scared. He was not always that way. He used to LOVE all children, was curious about other people and dogs, and was happy to meet new people. Then on a happy fall walk he was attacked by a pitbull. After that he was never the same.

In some ways I can relate. When Syringomyelia an its host of painful friends decided to change my life drastically I was not expecting it. After months of having to walk with a cane, hundreds of falls on walks home, and days calling in because of chronic pain and fatigue I was feeling pretty beaten and fearful myself.

It cost me my work, my livelihood, and my figure that I had worked so hard to keep in shape.

The last doctors visit I was told my weight and I went out to my car and cried for an hour.

It seemed like the final straw. What more could this disease take from me?

Stubborn by nature I have fought this disease and continue to fight it everyday. But tonight especially I have moments of feeling overwhelmed thinking "What if despite my best efforts I can't win?" Most of all I worry about my family, my friends, and my animals.

So this holiday I felt like I had no right to expect anything from anyone. In fact I entered the holiday hating the season. I hated the music, and the lights, and the constant talk about parties and presents. I wanted to be home, by myself trying to figure a way to be able to give everyone what they wanted while hating having to do so.

I was pretty much in this funk until waiting for a ride from my sister. I had tried to get some lunch and found I didn't have enough in my wallet. Sorely embarressed I went outside to wait in the cold for my ride with tears of shame in my eyes.

Then a person out of the blue came up to me. She had bought me lunch. She said she had seen me on TV with my animal welfare work and just wanted to say "Happy Holidays" I was so humbled by this random act of kindness, I cried again.

It was then that I decided maybe things were going to work out and maybe I had this whole holidays idea mixed up.

I called in a favor from a trainer friend of mine and had Kane evaluated. The trainer thinks that Kane while never being fully non fearful, can be trained to trust us to do his defending for him. Then agreed to work with me for a very low price. I have been working with him everyday, along with Crash my fiance and not only is he improving, but its brought us closer as a family.

I am amazed at how much better he is. We even had guests over and he lay down in his room and stopped barking after a minute. He was still terrified but understood the rules and that we would not let anything bad happen to him.

Today my nephew said while we wrapped presents "I'm glad your happy about presents and parties now!" I'd been with him shopping for presents with money my fiance had lovingly set aside for me to purchase them with. When I protested saying I hadn't earned any money, I had no right to buy presents he'd said "You have covered for me so many times, this is our money and I think we've both earned it."

I still worry about my weight but I am now walking my dog everyday and am still doing my pilates and yoga. I am learning to be happy with what I am capable of, instead of being sullen over my inabilities.

So in the future maybe I will be poorer, maybe Kane won't ever be a perfect dog, maybe I will be heavier, but as long as I am doing more for the good in the world, I will try not to lie awake at night in fear of any evil tripping me up.

My wish for everyone is a holiday full of the spirit of the season, friends, giving, and being thankful for the good in our lives.

Who the hell is Cthulu?

This is only funny because I have ZERO clue as to who Cthulu is, but apparently I am an angry, set things on fire,kind of gal...but I seem so sweet...

KJ

Which creature of the night are you? Your Result: Cthulu Spawn   You are really an alien thing, aren't you? I can't describe you because you are beyond. We say "left field" and you say "Krn Grth Thchrang." You are the wild card of the bunch, the unknown quantity
Sorceror
Demon
Ghost
Werewolf
Incubus/Succubus
Vampire
Which creature of the night are you? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Music Appreciation Thursday-Friday

So here is the Music appreciation tubes for people who say "New music sucks!"

While I can agree with you heartily on some aspects...These young artists (young, my age...well kinda)will have you going out to buy some cd's.

Here is just a taste:

Sufjan Stevens:



The Gossip:



Rilo Kiley/Jenny Lewis:





Enjoy and tell me what you think.

KJ

It still seems strange

I went home for Thanksgiving. I was fortunate to see all but one of my cousins and both my Aunt's and my Uncle.

I stayed with my Nana and mother and was treated to haute cuisine at Forpaughs Restaurant in Minneapolis, MN.

I got to bond with my neices whom I don't see enough, chat knitting and yarn shop with my sister Tia. Talk about Piers Anthony and music with my brother in law Mike.

But it still felt so strange not to see my Uncle Mike. There was no Late night sitting up with my Uncles and I talking about Pilates, or nature, or family.

I was looking through some old articles and saw this: Article

It made me remember how much I hate living in the city with loud neighbors, very few tree's and cars and dirty snow everywhere.

I remember special christmas's where we would travel up to Ely and see Aurora Bourealis, and hear Wolves howling. I remember how bright the stars were and how friendly everyone in town was.

I remember Hiking around Ministry lake and avoiding, along with my cousin Celin, getting our hair pulled out by a protective peregrine falcon.

I remember walking the Bass Lake Trail with my two cousins and running across a section COVERED with fire ants. Then when Mike and Becca were home telling them about it and laughing at my inadequate shoe wear.

I remember falling asleep on the couch with Joe and Matrix and having my Uncle Mike come over and poke us in the stomach when dinner was ready.

It made me belatedly thankful. Not only do I have a better family than most, but I have a brain full of great memories and a drive to protect and experience as much nature as possible.

To those who never got to know our family for all the great things it is, its there loss. We are ambassadors of the family name and personally I think we wear the mantle well.

I'd like to think that my Uncle, where ever he is, is proud too.

Love your family for what is has, not what it lacks. Too soon are people taken away and we realize it was better than we gave it credit for.

KJ

Stress and Soccer Moms.

So my day began with not being able to sleep. SO I slept in and forgot "A" was picking up the kitten to get spayed.

I got confused and told Geo she was going to petsmart.

Geo flipped out and yelled at me.

So I called the Coalition leader and asked if the kitten could come back and if she could take another kitten to the petsmart. I got lectured about how this is not technically MY kitten and that she needs to be seen by more potential adopters and how the coalition could take her out of the house and take her to Canada if they felt so inclined, so I had better remember who was boss.

Nice.

So I went to Wegmans to try to get some groceries. I found a great mug and was pretty happy but leary because everyone was driving like idiots in the parking lot. SO I was slowly pulling out of my parking spot, had stepped on the brake to check the other side of me again when I was ran into by a soccer mom on her cell phone in her minivan.

Literally while I was stopped.

So I made sure she was OK and that her children were ok when I noticed she had been holding her phone when she got out of the car. I refuse to discuss the accident with her and immediately called 911.

Then her husband came out of the store and said "What happened?" And the lady said "That teenage girl ran into us."

This did nothing to calm me.

I didn't say anything,refusing to be goaded, and simply pretended I didn't hear her. Then the guy started stopping pedestrians and saying, "Be careful, yeah we just got backed into, yeah young kid wasn't paying attention!"

So as my rage came bubbling to the surface I began to cry because I couldn't kill anyone or break anything.

It was killing me that I had been at a full stop, putting my car into drive, when this lady whipped around the corner with her cell phone, drove THROUGH a handicap spot (in order to cut the corner) and literally drove into my car because she wasn't quick enough (or watching) that I was already backed up into the road.

The police officer I ended up knowing. He heard what happened and looked at the damage on my car and asked if there had been any witnesses. There had been ONE and they left.

So he reconstructed the scene and said he could see what I was talking about and the lady had said she had been somewhat distracted by her children in the back.

But my insurance company says they are trying to say it is all my fault.

But even looking at her van you can see how she literally smashed into me and dragged her car alongside the corner of my bumper. You could see where she drove into me and kept going, where as I only had ONE point of "impact" because I was stationary.

She knocked out my back up lights and my neck hurts a little but I am OK.

SO then I arrived home after making a run to the bookstore to try to calm me down (I was and am still shaken) and came home only to find out our furnace is on the fritz.

I have been down there 13 plus times trying to fix it, I think I may have finally fixed it but honestly I am not sure. We are going to need to call a repair man.

And now, as I suspected, I am nauseous, sleepless, and sore.

So that's three bad things in one day. GREAT day huh!?

KJ

What heals you?

For me, chronic pain is an unfortunate part of my life. It affects everything. There are ways to manage it: drugs, heat, ice packs, sea salt soaks, massage, sleep, and my favorite, a swift kick to the head.

OK, so I only tried the last one once.

Recently I have found myself online a lot talking to other sufferers of Syringomyelia and Chiari Malformation and its good time friends chronic fatigue and disc degeneration.

One thing we all have in common is that we have one thing that no matter how much pain we are in we do this one thing and it takes our mind off the pain.

Usually long enough for narcotics to kick in Ba-ZING!

So lately I have been really into making mixed cd's for my friends and family. As Crash and I are HUGE (i mean over 5,000 cd's and 200 vinyl records, I am not going to mention cassette tapes because I will be embarrassed... huge) music dorks.

So since i have to travel and wanted a theme track for going to my put the fun in dysfunctional parents house (ok its just the mom and I who tussle...) I thought I would share some of my favorite songs with you.

So without further ado: Happy Thanksgiving, a musical tribute:

Kingdom in the Sky- Davinci's notebook
Smile- Lily Allen
One angry dwarf- Ben Folds
Mental Breakdown-Ember Swift
Song for the dumped-Ben Folds
Superman-The Blanks
Shameless- Ani DiFranco
Charles in Charge- The Blanks
Hallelujah- Rufus Wainright
Secret Asian Man- DaVinci's Notebook
Facts of Life- The Blanks
Barefoot- KD Lang
Jump in the line- DaVinci's notebook
Underdog-The Blanks
Superstition-Stevie Wonder
Valerie- Amy Winehouse
Allie McBeal-Davinci's Notebook
Never miss the water-Chaka Khan
Jockey full of Bourbon- Full Frontal Folk
Geek in the Pink- Jason Mraz
Casmir Pulaski Day- Sufjan Stevens

CD is available upon request.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, may your afterlife be blessed just american express it. (Davinci's Notebook)

KJ

Mind bending dissobedience

My nephews are driving me up a wall.

First of all they WILL NOT FOLLOW RULES. Every rule they know, rules that are everyday, they disobey and then say "I forgot!"

Its the escuse for everything. Rules are written down both up and downstairs and they just DO NOT follow them. We are talking safety rules!

Rules like:

Don't punch your brother

Don't hurt the cats

Don't leave the apartment without asking

Don't go into the street

They just do whatever they want and say "Huh what? oh I forgot"

It drives me insane because I have to be on top of them to get them to do anything I practically have to put my hand over their hands and do it for them.

How old do you have to be to actually follow directions and rules? not stupid rules, basic rules.

I want o beat my own head in.

Prop 8

As a kid who has biracial parents, and several LGBT friends and family this struck a chord with me. The thought that even in 1967 MY fiance and I couldn't have gotten married. Where is this separation between Church and state? How are ones religious beliefs allowed to impact a decision that has nothing to do with morality and is all about what is fair.

Marriage isn't about having kids because if it were Crash and I wouldn't be allowed to be married because I can't have children.

Marriage isn't about religion because if it were Crash and I wouldn't be allowed to marry because I am Buddhist and he is Christian.

Marriage isn't about race because if it were Crash and I would not be able to be married because he is Irish and French and I am Black and Native American.

Marriage is about Love, so why is marriage between two non related persons illegal still?

If Crashes Father can't marry his boyfriend of 15 years, then Crash and I are not going to get married either. We have discussed it and the fact is it is just not fair.

Why? It's not because we don't want to, and its not because we are afraid of divorce, it is because we are angry that our friends whose love is just as real and just as deep and committed as ours can't do the same.

Everyday we learn new things about our fellow man, and everyday horrible things are put up to divide us, are we growing less intelligent and compassionate with each new thing we learn? Each barrier we knock down?

Plant a seed of compassion it doesn't matter if you understand or not. Marriage between people who are willing to love, honor and cherish each other is not your right to ban because it makes you uncomfortable, your personal beliefs should have no bearing on what is right and what is wrong.

The fact is with age comes wisdom and it doesn't take much intelligence to realize marriage between souls who come together with love in their hearts should be as legal as any other marriage.


KJ and Crash

Its 2:00AM where are YOUR kids?

Well, my mother's kids are clutching their abdomens, sucking down anti-nausea medication, and sipping hot beverages while trying to get a fever down.

GOODTIMES.

Where the hell did I get a rogue fever? I haven't had one of these in months and I have been good about staying warm, washing hands, taking vitamins and staying away from other people's broods of sick kids.

But somehow I end up with toilet hugging (while I am not seated that is) fun.

Crash and I cleaned the entire apartment today and the nephewmonsters helped! They had a dust war to see who could get more check dusting with the swiffer, then they had a garbage war where they tried to fill more bags full of garbage. We have 5 trash bags full of dirt, poo, dust, old food (from pantry and fridge) broken toys, random hair and fur balls, Our house is so clean I would actually have people over!

Crash even said "Honey I understand because of you being sick that just because you stay home all day doesn't mean on top of cleaning cat boxes, putting away clean laundry, cleaning the shower, walking the dog, and cooking all my meals and everyone else in the house, that you couldn't possibly clean it too, and I should help on my days off.

*Thud* me hit floor.

Everything I had asked him to help me with from flipping the dogs linens, lining the futon with our new liner that I made, vacuuming, taking out trash, and organizing and setting up the bedroom with a play station, TV, and VCR (for when I am forced to stay in bed because of being sick)we even got a front window winterproofed and cleaned out our corner of the basement for my scooter, the lawn mower, our grill and Geo's menagerie of camping equipment.

Now I am hit with the sickness, which I am totally not down with I might add.

I have a few more windows to winter proof and want to super winter proof the bedroom.because before it was one of the coldest rooms in the house. I am going to buy quilt batting and put it on cardboard and put it in the windows, then I am going to shrink wrap outside that and then put up heavier curtains.

I was so cold in the bedroom just now I had to get up, have some warm tea and sit in front of a space heater.

That is Frog Crap!

So in 10 days I am going to minnesota to have thanksgiving with my family. My nana already says "Oh good that means you can cook it!"

See, being the chef/cook in the family is hell especially because I am vegan.

So now I am looking up recipes online for Turkey and also researching how to get one already cooked.

I have to feed a family of 10 and they think its going to be from scratch after I scrape myself off a plane, they are on drugs!

I am thinking, Frozen potatoes that I just have to mash, precooked frozen yams, premade pecan and pumpkin pie, grands biscuits (hello an exploding container, its a win win!),and salad mix,Frozen corn,cranberry sauce from a can and then I just have to worry about the turkey and that's what my MP3 player is for. Oh and the piece de resistance: Store bought stuffing not in a turkeys behind.

For me? tofurkey premade turkey slices in "oven roasted" and all the sides.

I actually saw a great recipe for a turkey you rub with butter and maple syrup then stuff with oranges that you pierced with a fork, then just throw it in an oven bag and it self marinates!

Hey, you cook for 10 people and tell me to make everything from scratch!

KJ