So much stress when making a huge decision like buying a new car. I have been researching and looking at cars to replace our Jeep. We have a down payment of 3,000 bucks and a trade in valued at 1200 bucks. We found a 2010 Toyota Yaris for 10,000 (incl tax title, license, registration, and extended warranty which includes yearly detailing, monthly car washes and low cost oil changes. Chris is upset about it costing 200 a month but I am taking on another job to make an extra 300 a month to cover car and insurance premiums. Also since it is summer I have the chance to make some bank doing coverage for people who want to go on vacation.
I wanted to touch on the whole stressed spouse issue. We all deal with stress differently. I grew up in a house where I was constantly the one having to be an adult whenever my Grandmother had to work (which was a LOT) my mother was like the older sister, my brother was chronically in trouble and the rest of our family lived far away. Thus, if we wanted dinner, I cooked, bills had to be paid? I made it happen. I have bee working some form of a job since I was 12 babysitting every weekend, Nanny jobs every summer, farm and ranch jobs every vacation, and part time working all through high school and 30 hours a week in college. Because of that I have bought 4 cars for my family over the years. I know how to research cars, I know what we do and do not need.
That said when other people were going to house parties and going on road trips, I was working. I got to travel, but the way I traveled was by having a job, internship, project.
So once I had to pare back to ONE job, then part time I found myself with TIME. Time is a funny thing, too much of it and you try to fill it. Hearing others talk about how they don't have enough makes you want to cram it full of activity. When you have a chronic disease and a majority of time is spend lying in a dark room heaving into a bucket you get anxious.
Time may not be money, but it is fucking valuable.
So when people drag their feet, I understand. When I have to drag my feet I freak out. Tomorrow might entail 16 hours of fighting off nausea and trying to find buckets to be nauseous in.
So I find myself almost homicidal angry when I am ready to do something, making a smart decision and have people dragging their feet because they are being what appears to ME as being overly cautious. More than that when they refuse to consult people who know things about the subject and are basing their actions on how they feel or what a friend "feels" (Friends whom have zero gorram knowledge of the subject)
THIS is where happy spouse happy house comes in. Its about letting people come to terms with their feelings on decisions (even if you think feelings have nothing to do with it) its about letting family vent to toher family, and letting your spouse come around to buying a car on their own.
In my case it is about backing the fuck off, letting him talk to his brother, best friend, gas station attendant, and anyone else who will help him come to grips with his feelings.
Its about loving someone enough to step back, sometimes it is enough. Sometimes you will get ulcers or chew a hole in your tongue or have chronic visions of stabbing them in the leg with an ice pick. But rage fades, and you remember WHY you love them when they do something like dance with the dog, or let the cat smell their stinky feet.
So this spouse may not especially be happy, but that spouse is getting there and marriage is about compromise and avoiding manslaughter charges.
Hopefully he will not use him brother as an expert for cars and listen to every expert who has advised us to buy the car we are financed for. Or better yet, trust his wife and her arsenal of knowledge and research. Off to boil a small mammal for ritual sacrifice.
Friday, March 07, 2014
Thursday, March 06, 2014
Its time to review random crap! Donna Michelle Salon Basics Nail Polish Stickers (Dollar Tree)
So I am a fan of nail art, I have a tub of nail stuff and like to keep my nails pretty. But polish chips like CRAZY. So the only thing that seems to spend any real time on my nails are foils and nail stickers.
So when at the dollar store with my client I see a bunch of nail stickers "Donna Michelle Salon Basics Nail Polish Stickers" Thinking aw fuck it they are a dollar, I bought some.
Last Sunday during the day I put them on, took about 20 minutes because I am a perfectionist. After they were on I hit them for about 10 seconds with the hair dryer, and slapped some Nail Effect top coat on them.
Then the next day waited for them to peel off, and they didn't
It is now Thursday night, and I have applied one other top coat to the nail decals, and they are STILL on my nails. I have cleaned, cooked, washed, showered, scrubbed floors, planted seeds, peeled garlic, chopped onions, EVERYTHING. They are not chipping, not peeling...in other words they have no signs of coming off.
so far, no dice. And they are kind cute too!
I am definitely going to go back and pick up a few more packs, just for fun. Its nice to have a manicure once a week that has some staying power. plus they have the pet wipes there that I use on Klaude that work GREAT and don't hurt his delicate bootie.
New review: Pet Wipes. Tested y the dog, the cat, and inadvertently by my husband.
So when at the dollar store with my client I see a bunch of nail stickers "Donna Michelle Salon Basics Nail Polish Stickers" Thinking aw fuck it they are a dollar, I bought some.
Last Sunday during the day I put them on, took about 20 minutes because I am a perfectionist. After they were on I hit them for about 10 seconds with the hair dryer, and slapped some Nail Effect top coat on them.
Then the next day waited for them to peel off, and they didn't
It is now Thursday night, and I have applied one other top coat to the nail decals, and they are STILL on my nails. I have cleaned, cooked, washed, showered, scrubbed floors, planted seeds, peeled garlic, chopped onions, EVERYTHING. They are not chipping, not peeling...in other words they have no signs of coming off.
so far, no dice. And they are kind cute too!
I am definitely going to go back and pick up a few more packs, just for fun. Its nice to have a manicure once a week that has some staying power. plus they have the pet wipes there that I use on Klaude that work GREAT and don't hurt his delicate bootie.
New review: Pet Wipes. Tested y the dog, the cat, and inadvertently by my husband.
Tuesday, March 04, 2014
Take this teen sciene fair questionarre. Try not to be a smart ass, like myself.
A friends teen daughter sent me a questionnaire for her science report. I actually thought it was interesting! If you want to help her out you can send it to me and I will forward it to her. (keenjoy@gmail.com) I won't read it because....I don't care. But I attached MY answers to be transparent.
Gender: Carebear...what? FINE a FEMALE Carebear.
Age: 36 (31-42)
BMI: um....high? I honestly do not know, I don't really worry about my BMI or weight, bigger fish to fry....
Real Weight: 201 lbs as of 2 weeks ago.
Instructions: This test must stay anonymous so please do not write your name anywhere. Fill out each question honestly please. Also for the bubbled Questions please change your answer into a different color than black. Good Luck! Wait, there were bubbles? Why didn't I get BUBBLES!?
1. When you eat does it make you happy? a) Yes, if it isn't tasteless or burnt to shit.
2. Do you eat more when you are happy or sad?
Neither, I eat when I am hungry.
3. Do you ever feel sad after you eat?
b) No
4. Are you scared to gain weigh? Yes, because my mother weighs close to 700 pounds. Morbid obesity frightens me.
5. Does stress make you eat more? no, not more just different foods.
6. Are you worried about your weight all the time? Not all the time.
7. Do your family/Friends affect your eating habits? Yes, they tend to watch what I eat and always question "Why are you big when you don't eat bad?"
8. When you were a child, were you ever made fun of because of how you look? ALWAYS, kids are dicks. I wish I had been able to see myself now and enjoy my body as it was, instead of trying to make it into something else. I was so damn cute, I am still cute, but when I was a kid whoo doggie!
9. Please describe your daily diet.
AM: 1/2 bagel with cream cheese or 1 cup of cereal or 1 cup almond milk/almond milk with protein powder and coffee, depends...Today I had 1 cup sliced potatoes fried with 3 pieces of paper thin pancetta.
Early noon: Yogurt/Apple/small slice of cheese...depends. Today I had sliced green peppers with ranch dressing.
Noon: Small leftovers (usually about a cup of food, hot tea, water) Today was spaghetti.
Dinner: 1 cup various produce, 1 cup salad/other vegetables, 1 cup whatever else I want (tonight it was ice cream)
PM snack with meds: piece of toast, 2 graham crackers, a small apple, a small yogurt, depends...
10. Do you do any type of dieting? Not really... If anything I just do small portions of whatever I want.
11. Are you apart of the online group called ‘Weight watchers’? If you are does it help you? Hell no, I grew up going to those with my mother and having them all tell me "Now you mustn't even get fat like her!"
12. How would you describe your relationship with food? I love food. I love cooking it, I like trying new things, I don't waste my time eating crap (unless it is HEAVENLY crap like Girl Scout Cookies). And I don't believe in restriction what you eat, just HOW much and trying to keep in mind moderation and balance.
13. Are you in a functional relationship currently?
a) Yes, wait...define "functional"...yes.
14. Have you ever lost a loved one? Several Do you think this is a reason for your eating habits? Nope. I don't eat when I am stressed. I eat to live.
15. Do you have any health problems because of your eating problems? Nope. blood pressure perfect, cholesterol perfect, blood sugar perfect...
16. Does eating ever make you have Hateful thoughts towards yourself? EATING does not, but seeing thin people eating massive amounts of food or saying "I survive on sunlight and lemons" THOSE make me feel angry. Pictures though, sometimes I will see pictures of myself and think "Ugh just go on a water diet"
17. D you often do outside activity? I have a dog, we call it "potty"
18. Do you watch a lot of television or admire models? I watch a lot of Drag Race.. and wish I looked like RuPaul...
19. Have you ever wished to look like someone other than yourself? See above.
20. Last question! If you could no longer access your favorite/Luxury food what would you do? There are starving people in Zimbabwaye, I'd suck it up and feel lucky I was not living in a zombie filled apocalypse world.
Gender: Carebear...what? FINE a FEMALE Carebear.
Age: 36 (31-42)
BMI: um....high? I honestly do not know, I don't really worry about my BMI or weight, bigger fish to fry....
Real Weight: 201 lbs as of 2 weeks ago.
Instructions: This test must stay anonymous so please do not write your name anywhere. Fill out each question honestly please. Also for the bubbled Questions please change your answer into a different color than black. Good Luck! Wait, there were bubbles? Why didn't I get BUBBLES!?
1. When you eat does it make you happy? a) Yes, if it isn't tasteless or burnt to shit.
2. Do you eat more when you are happy or sad?
Neither, I eat when I am hungry.
3. Do you ever feel sad after you eat?
b) No
4. Are you scared to gain weigh? Yes, because my mother weighs close to 700 pounds. Morbid obesity frightens me.
5. Does stress make you eat more? no, not more just different foods.
6. Are you worried about your weight all the time? Not all the time.
7. Do your family/Friends affect your eating habits? Yes, they tend to watch what I eat and always question "Why are you big when you don't eat bad?"
8. When you were a child, were you ever made fun of because of how you look? ALWAYS, kids are dicks. I wish I had been able to see myself now and enjoy my body as it was, instead of trying to make it into something else. I was so damn cute, I am still cute, but when I was a kid whoo doggie!
9. Please describe your daily diet.
AM: 1/2 bagel with cream cheese or 1 cup of cereal or 1 cup almond milk/almond milk with protein powder and coffee, depends...Today I had 1 cup sliced potatoes fried with 3 pieces of paper thin pancetta.
Early noon: Yogurt/Apple/small slice of cheese...depends. Today I had sliced green peppers with ranch dressing.
Noon: Small leftovers (usually about a cup of food, hot tea, water) Today was spaghetti.
Dinner: 1 cup various produce, 1 cup salad/other vegetables, 1 cup whatever else I want (tonight it was ice cream)
PM snack with meds: piece of toast, 2 graham crackers, a small apple, a small yogurt, depends...
10. Do you do any type of dieting? Not really... If anything I just do small portions of whatever I want.
11. Are you apart of the online group called ‘Weight watchers’? If you are does it help you? Hell no, I grew up going to those with my mother and having them all tell me "Now you mustn't even get fat like her!"
12. How would you describe your relationship with food? I love food. I love cooking it, I like trying new things, I don't waste my time eating crap (unless it is HEAVENLY crap like Girl Scout Cookies). And I don't believe in restriction what you eat, just HOW much and trying to keep in mind moderation and balance.
13. Are you in a functional relationship currently?
a) Yes, wait...define "functional"...yes.
14. Have you ever lost a loved one? Several Do you think this is a reason for your eating habits? Nope. I don't eat when I am stressed. I eat to live.
15. Do you have any health problems because of your eating problems? Nope. blood pressure perfect, cholesterol perfect, blood sugar perfect...
16. Does eating ever make you have Hateful thoughts towards yourself? EATING does not, but seeing thin people eating massive amounts of food or saying "I survive on sunlight and lemons" THOSE make me feel angry. Pictures though, sometimes I will see pictures of myself and think "Ugh just go on a water diet"
17. D you often do outside activity? I have a dog, we call it "potty"
18. Do you watch a lot of television or admire models? I watch a lot of Drag Race.. and wish I looked like RuPaul...
19. Have you ever wished to look like someone other than yourself? See above.
20. Last question! If you could no longer access your favorite/Luxury food what would you do? There are starving people in Zimbabwaye, I'd suck it up and feel lucky I was not living in a zombie filled apocalypse world.
Its a conundrum...
So once again, we are back to "Just drive the Jeep" If I have no vehicle by Thursday, I am fired. Not "taking a leave of absence" not "taking a break" not "driving the Jeep" FIRED.
I called my boss today, her first question? "did you get rid of the Jeep?"
No, no we did not, correction. No HE did not. Said Piling bucket of sh*t parts is currently parked in front of our house.
I like my job, I am GOOD at my job, I am going to get FIRED from my job and then he can keep the damn Jeep because I won't need it to go anywhere.
Granted we also won't have money for rent, food, or anything else. But he will get to keep his Jeep and won't have to put on his big boy panties and go LOOK at better cars.
I am not sure any way other than smacking him upside the head with a large phone book (wait, dammit everything is digital now) to make him understand WE NEED A NEW CAR. Just because something drives does not make is 1. Safe. 2. Reliable or 3. Fiscally responsible. Somehow I can not get it into his head that buying a car (even though it is really scary) is something that has to happen.
Well I may end up using my 1,000 check for bus fare or rent at this rate. Damn I am eloquent when blind with rage.
I called my boss today, her first question? "did you get rid of the Jeep?"
No, no we did not, correction. No HE did not. Said Piling bucket of sh*t parts is currently parked in front of our house.
I like my job, I am GOOD at my job, I am going to get FIRED from my job and then he can keep the damn Jeep because I won't need it to go anywhere.
Granted we also won't have money for rent, food, or anything else. But he will get to keep his Jeep and won't have to put on his big boy panties and go LOOK at better cars.
I am not sure any way other than smacking him upside the head with a large phone book (wait, dammit everything is digital now) to make him understand WE NEED A NEW CAR. Just because something drives does not make is 1. Safe. 2. Reliable or 3. Fiscally responsible. Somehow I can not get it into his head that buying a car (even though it is really scary) is something that has to happen.
Well I may end up using my 1,000 check for bus fare or rent at this rate. Damn I am eloquent when blind with rage.
Sunday, March 02, 2014
Mom the Serial Hobby Mom.
So I have decided we will no longer speak of vehicles unless it is my lawyer plea bargaining for my voluntary manslaughter charge.
I digress.
So Friend and I were discussing hobbies. My mother was asking me if I wanted her mineatures. I said no because...I hate the life size shit I have, I do not want tony replicas. Additionally? cats.
So when we were discussing hobbies I began to wax on about the numerous hobbies my mother has involved herself in through out her life. I found myself amazed that I was not a hoarder with 50 cats.
So here goes the grand list:
I digress.
So Friend and I were discussing hobbies. My mother was asking me if I wanted her mineatures. I said no because...I hate the life size shit I have, I do not want tony replicas. Additionally? cats.
So when we were discussing hobbies I began to wax on about the numerous hobbies my mother has involved herself in through out her life. I found myself amazed that I was not a hoarder with 50 cats.
So here goes the grand list:
Need a Fucking car, any fucking car!
I feel I need the word FUCKERY tattooed somewhere on my body because when I am upset or enraged it is my go to curse. In regards to shopping for a car, EPIC FUCKERY. So our family owns cattle, and has recently flipped a house for a LOT of money. HOWEVER that money is in a trust and is being used to pay for my Grandmother and Mother to live in South Dakota and Minnesota respectively. SO any of "my share" of said cow or real estate is being used to generate interest, interest enough to keep my Nana in bird seed and mother in wet cat food.
So when I asked my family if they would please help me out with money for a car, they lovingly send me 1,000 (or several years interest on trust money) I didn't WANT to take this money. Because whenever you take money off of a investment, the interest goes down. SIGNIFICANTLY. But we need a damn car and I can only work 20 hours a week because my body is made of rusty twine and brittle rubber bands. My husband's family also said they would give us 2,000 as a late wedding present (which is kind because we eloped) so selling my heirlooms (500, bye bye family silver), cashing in my interest from what was SUPPOSED to be my retirement (1,000) Wedding present (2,000) and selling our Jeep (400) then waiting for the IRS (1200) means we have a down payment of about 5100 dollars.
SO with my termite infested bones and shaken Jenga spine, I have been searching for vehicles.
I have found:
Toyota Corolla "06, 4 cyl, 165,890 miles, 32/41 MPG, FWD $7600.00
Honda Civic, 05, 4 cyl, 130,000, 29/38MPG, FWD, $4800.00
Toyota Prius 06, 4cyl, 85,000 miles, 50/51 MPG (WhAT?!) FWD, $9,990.00
Toyota Prius 07, 4cyl, 90,000 miles, 51/51 MPG (WITCHCRAFT!) FWD, $10,990
Not going to lie, that 06 Prius is calling my name. But husband keeps saying "DEATHBOX!!!!" I just think he doesn't want to look like a hippy driving around in a prius, drinking Kombucha with his recycled pants. But get serious, I am a hippie driving around drinking Kombucha wearing recycled pants.
He really wants a "bad ass" car or a "man truck" but we can't afford to have a "man car" we need high mileage, reasonable payment, and reliable. So If the Mazda 3 with its horrible engine issues had a baby with a toyota Prius, what car would that be? Because we need to find that car, and for under 10,000.
I have become religated to the fact that whenever I bring up looking at and or purchasing a vehicle Chris turtles up and goes back into his man cave to pout and scowl into the darkness. Alas it is up to me to go put on my "big girl pants" recycled big girl pants, and go find a gorram car.
Epic...Fuckery.
I honestly am thankful that we never had a child other than our dog because dealing with two teenagers would lead me to commit homicide (Yes, I just refereed to my husband as a teenager, no I regret nothing)
When life throws its wrenches in the air, and they come raining down in a shit storm onto the debacle that is my life I find it doens't really help to curse the wrenches and wax angrily about how it ALWAYS rains wrenches on ME and no one else. Fuckery. Pick that shit up, Put that shit away, tuck in your tail and FIX THAT SHIT!
Bad things happen. I know for a fact waiting for other people to solve your problems will NEVER solve your problems.
*sigh* Alright. I am going to go and look at more cars. Maybe Chris would accept a toyota Corolla or Camry over a Prius. See? I can compromise Gorram It! However nice a Prius will be, I will just have to pretend in my mind that it is the car I am driving.
See? I told you...FUCKERY.
These are my top three picks thus far.
So when I asked my family if they would please help me out with money for a car, they lovingly send me 1,000 (or several years interest on trust money) I didn't WANT to take this money. Because whenever you take money off of a investment, the interest goes down. SIGNIFICANTLY. But we need a damn car and I can only work 20 hours a week because my body is made of rusty twine and brittle rubber bands. My husband's family also said they would give us 2,000 as a late wedding present (which is kind because we eloped) so selling my heirlooms (500, bye bye family silver), cashing in my interest from what was SUPPOSED to be my retirement (1,000) Wedding present (2,000) and selling our Jeep (400) then waiting for the IRS (1200) means we have a down payment of about 5100 dollars.
SO with my termite infested bones and shaken Jenga spine, I have been searching for vehicles.
I have found:
Toyota Corolla "06, 4 cyl, 165,890 miles, 32/41 MPG, FWD $7600.00
Honda Civic, 05, 4 cyl, 130,000, 29/38MPG, FWD, $4800.00
Toyota Prius 06, 4cyl, 85,000 miles, 50/51 MPG (WhAT?!) FWD, $9,990.00
Toyota Prius 07, 4cyl, 90,000 miles, 51/51 MPG (WITCHCRAFT!) FWD, $10,990
Not going to lie, that 06 Prius is calling my name. But husband keeps saying "DEATHBOX!!!!" I just think he doesn't want to look like a hippy driving around in a prius, drinking Kombucha with his recycled pants. But get serious, I am a hippie driving around drinking Kombucha wearing recycled pants.
He really wants a "bad ass" car or a "man truck" but we can't afford to have a "man car" we need high mileage, reasonable payment, and reliable. So If the Mazda 3 with its horrible engine issues had a baby with a toyota Prius, what car would that be? Because we need to find that car, and for under 10,000.
I have become religated to the fact that whenever I bring up looking at and or purchasing a vehicle Chris turtles up and goes back into his man cave to pout and scowl into the darkness. Alas it is up to me to go put on my "big girl pants" recycled big girl pants, and go find a gorram car.
Epic...Fuckery.
I honestly am thankful that we never had a child other than our dog because dealing with two teenagers would lead me to commit homicide (Yes, I just refereed to my husband as a teenager, no I regret nothing)
When life throws its wrenches in the air, and they come raining down in a shit storm onto the debacle that is my life I find it doens't really help to curse the wrenches and wax angrily about how it ALWAYS rains wrenches on ME and no one else. Fuckery. Pick that shit up, Put that shit away, tuck in your tail and FIX THAT SHIT!
Bad things happen. I know for a fact waiting for other people to solve your problems will NEVER solve your problems.
*sigh* Alright. I am going to go and look at more cars. Maybe Chris would accept a toyota Corolla or Camry over a Prius. See? I can compromise Gorram It! However nice a Prius will be, I will just have to pretend in my mind that it is the car I am driving.
See? I told you...FUCKERY.
These are my top three picks thus far.
Saturday, March 01, 2014
Master Procrasterbater
Despite having been awake at the butt crack of dawn otherwise known as 6AM I am incredibly lethargic today.
This AM my wonderful neighbors took me to the Farmers Market, Lombardis, Mediterranean Deli, Dominicks meat market, and Nichols Grocery.
OK now that I write that down I am thinking maybe it was NOT such a waste of a day, on top of that trip I made the bed so BOO-YEAH!
I love the farmers market. I have friends who work at the farmers market. I am very particular in whom I buy things from when at the Farmers Market, and I trust my neighbor implicitly. SO I have no gorram explanation for HOW THE HELL I managed to spend 20 dollars on three pounds of beef.
I normally go to Longhorn Farms, get one beef tongue and 3 pounds of ground chuck and if they have it summer sausage. Grass fed, free range, organic. Normally about 3 bucks a pound for chuck, 4 bucks a pound for tongue.
However today I was separated from my neighbor, and on my own, and when telling my friend I was there to buy meat for the next 2 weeks friend (unnamed for their protection) said "HEY! Buy from these people! they just started selling here!"
Here is where I stop to tell you I am NOT good in social situations. Avoid buying a car? I can do that, Avoid getting buffed and sprayed by a drive by mall kiosk? professional aversion here. But when being introduced by a friend to another friend to buy something I was technically looking for (but cheaper dammit!) I froze. So when they asked me what I wanted, I said "Um, do you have tongue?" and they did! ONE...a 3 pound one... for 12.50. So what does my dumb ass do? buys it. I start to walk away panicked thinking "OK I will just skip buying butter, and get the ground at Longhorn" when my friend says "Didn't you say you needed groundbeef?"
SO much anger. I want to punch this friend in their smiling windpipe.
But no, I smile and say "Yeah, I wanted ground..." before I can finish, lady plops a 2 pound bag of ground beef and says "8 bucks!"
Stuttering, I hand over a 20 and mentally calculate which personal blood/organs I can peddle at one of the shadier venders in the barns further down.
I have NO IDEA how this happened. I came home with Squash, Cream Cheese, Bagels, lard (yes lard, don't judge) apples, chocolate chip cookies, Pancetta, Parmesean, and tomato sauce. All of which I was pleased to have, happy to have found. Then I see the giant frozen beef tongue and tiny bundle of ground beef. I chucked it into the freezer and slammed the door for good measure. Only to have the doorbounce bag and smack me right in the face.
The only logical reaction ensued. Me screaming "FUCKING COW!" to a freezer of beef parts.
I turned around to find my husband, both boy cats, and the dog staring wide eyed at me. After saying "WHAT!?" and stomping into the bedroom to change I began to feel like I had overreacted.
After all, I was introduced the the worlds BEST GOD DAMN BACON in the world today by a tiny italian man, who gave me a 1/4 pound "Gratis" because I was "so cute" damn right I am cute, especially for free bacon!
I got my husband his favorite cookies that reminded him of his childhood and satisfied my own need for farm fresh cream cheese and home made bagels.
Came home, hammered out a few pages of my grad paper before my brain light went dim, then made lunch. Bagel sammies with Farm Fromage, Pancetta, and runny egg.
I call that a successful damn day. Especially for a self professed vampire and it was damn bright out today.
Thus I close, more tomorrow, probably not. We have to go play at being adults and look at cars.
May you all have dark hello kitty sunglasses on bright early days, and not be forced into buying exspensive fucking cow parts (fucking cow)
XOXO KJ
This AM my wonderful neighbors took me to the Farmers Market, Lombardis, Mediterranean Deli, Dominicks meat market, and Nichols Grocery.
OK now that I write that down I am thinking maybe it was NOT such a waste of a day, on top of that trip I made the bed so BOO-YEAH!
I love the farmers market. I have friends who work at the farmers market. I am very particular in whom I buy things from when at the Farmers Market, and I trust my neighbor implicitly. SO I have no gorram explanation for HOW THE HELL I managed to spend 20 dollars on three pounds of beef.
I normally go to Longhorn Farms, get one beef tongue and 3 pounds of ground chuck and if they have it summer sausage. Grass fed, free range, organic. Normally about 3 bucks a pound for chuck, 4 bucks a pound for tongue.
However today I was separated from my neighbor, and on my own, and when telling my friend I was there to buy meat for the next 2 weeks friend (unnamed for their protection) said "HEY! Buy from these people! they just started selling here!"
Here is where I stop to tell you I am NOT good in social situations. Avoid buying a car? I can do that, Avoid getting buffed and sprayed by a drive by mall kiosk? professional aversion here. But when being introduced by a friend to another friend to buy something I was technically looking for (but cheaper dammit!) I froze. So when they asked me what I wanted, I said "Um, do you have tongue?" and they did! ONE...a 3 pound one... for 12.50. So what does my dumb ass do? buys it. I start to walk away panicked thinking "OK I will just skip buying butter, and get the ground at Longhorn" when my friend says "Didn't you say you needed groundbeef?"
SO much anger. I want to punch this friend in their smiling windpipe.
But no, I smile and say "Yeah, I wanted ground..." before I can finish, lady plops a 2 pound bag of ground beef and says "8 bucks!"
Stuttering, I hand over a 20 and mentally calculate which personal blood/organs I can peddle at one of the shadier venders in the barns further down.
I have NO IDEA how this happened. I came home with Squash, Cream Cheese, Bagels, lard (yes lard, don't judge) apples, chocolate chip cookies, Pancetta, Parmesean, and tomato sauce. All of which I was pleased to have, happy to have found. Then I see the giant frozen beef tongue and tiny bundle of ground beef. I chucked it into the freezer and slammed the door for good measure. Only to have the doorbounce bag and smack me right in the face.
The only logical reaction ensued. Me screaming "FUCKING COW!" to a freezer of beef parts.
I turned around to find my husband, both boy cats, and the dog staring wide eyed at me. After saying "WHAT!?" and stomping into the bedroom to change I began to feel like I had overreacted.
After all, I was introduced the the worlds BEST GOD DAMN BACON in the world today by a tiny italian man, who gave me a 1/4 pound "Gratis" because I was "so cute" damn right I am cute, especially for free bacon!
I got my husband his favorite cookies that reminded him of his childhood and satisfied my own need for farm fresh cream cheese and home made bagels.
Came home, hammered out a few pages of my grad paper before my brain light went dim, then made lunch. Bagel sammies with Farm Fromage, Pancetta, and runny egg.
I call that a successful damn day. Especially for a self professed vampire and it was damn bright out today.
Thus I close, more tomorrow, probably not. We have to go play at being adults and look at cars.
May you all have dark hello kitty sunglasses on bright early days, and not be forced into buying exspensive fucking cow parts (fucking cow)
XOXO KJ
Friday, February 28, 2014
Klaude Wesley Armstrong
I am sitting here weepy. No because I am sad, but because I can't believe I am watching he same cat who I found feral in a trap less than a year ago.
Klaude was a feral stray who had brought 7 tiny kittens up to our porch to eat. he was so doting and careful we thought he was a she and the mother cat.
After trapping and fixing and rehoming all the kittens and a female we thought was a sibling we finally caught Klaude.
When I saw him his backside was red and smeared with feces, his eyes were goopy, he had fleas, eat mites and worms.
I quickly got him into the vet. Upon Klaude realizing that we were there to help him he immediately latched on to me. The vet nicknamed him "Bodhisattva" and my husband named him Klaude.
We found out he had FIV and decided to try keeping him with non FIV cats and just being cautious. We had his teeth cleaned, neuter done, and inoculated him against FLV and got he other cats their boosters. We knew Klaude was timid and shy so we decided to give him and our eldest cat their own room. We created the senior cat Geriatric And Special Needs Unit in our house or the "GASNU" but Klaude had other ideas.
Every day I would let him out t wander around supervised. Then at night I would put them to bed in their room. Soon I found Klaude and his sister Ani had decided they didn't WANT to be alone and refused to go back into the GASNU. We spoke to the vet who said as long as they didn't fight to give it a try.
For months Klaude would shake when we tried to pick him up, he would let us comb him but if we clipped his nails or touched his tail he would hiss and spit and run and hide...
Slowly I got him used to being touched, and picked up. Soon I found him jumping up o sit on chairs (It ook 5 months) and not running away when we walked into a room and sat down.
He had a check up and they were amazed a how great he looked and the vet saw he still had poopy butt and put him on a diet because he had gained weight so quick! So it was time to implement play. But whenever we would bat toys or play with him he would duck or flinch and run away.
So Chris my husband, never being one to give up, started bringing home milk rings, and door stops. They were the perfect size for batting and made no loud noise. Soon Klaude was playing with them, then he started playing with wooden pogs, then pen caps, then graduated to catnip stuffed mice.
Now he has his own toy box, and when he isn't sitting next to me purring his fool head off he can be found head stuck in it digging around for his two favorite stuffed toys.
So here is this cat. Who went from withdrawn, scared and UN-trusting to being my best friend.
Klaude was a feral stray who had brought 7 tiny kittens up to our porch to eat. he was so doting and careful we thought he was a she and the mother cat.
After trapping and fixing and rehoming all the kittens and a female we thought was a sibling we finally caught Klaude.
When I saw him his backside was red and smeared with feces, his eyes were goopy, he had fleas, eat mites and worms.
I quickly got him into the vet. Upon Klaude realizing that we were there to help him he immediately latched on to me. The vet nicknamed him "Bodhisattva" and my husband named him Klaude.
We found out he had FIV and decided to try keeping him with non FIV cats and just being cautious. We had his teeth cleaned, neuter done, and inoculated him against FLV and got he other cats their boosters. We knew Klaude was timid and shy so we decided to give him and our eldest cat their own room. We created the senior cat Geriatric And Special Needs Unit in our house or the "GASNU" but Klaude had other ideas.
Every day I would let him out t wander around supervised. Then at night I would put them to bed in their room. Soon I found Klaude and his sister Ani had decided they didn't WANT to be alone and refused to go back into the GASNU. We spoke to the vet who said as long as they didn't fight to give it a try.
For months Klaude would shake when we tried to pick him up, he would let us comb him but if we clipped his nails or touched his tail he would hiss and spit and run and hide...
Slowly I got him used to being touched, and picked up. Soon I found him jumping up o sit on chairs (It ook 5 months) and not running away when we walked into a room and sat down.
He had a check up and they were amazed a how great he looked and the vet saw he still had poopy butt and put him on a diet because he had gained weight so quick! So it was time to implement play. But whenever we would bat toys or play with him he would duck or flinch and run away.
So Chris my husband, never being one to give up, started bringing home milk rings, and door stops. They were the perfect size for batting and made no loud noise. Soon Klaude was playing with them, then he started playing with wooden pogs, then pen caps, then graduated to catnip stuffed mice.
Now he has his own toy box, and when he isn't sitting next to me purring his fool head off he can be found head stuck in it digging around for his two favorite stuffed toys.
So here is this cat. Who went from withdrawn, scared and UN-trusting to being my best friend.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Random Review: Earth Rated Poop Bags
So as American Bulldog Owners we see our fare share of massive stinky poops. We used to reuse plastic bags until we realized at the amount we were using them, we were creating DECADES of trash. So we started trying biodegradable bags. First ones we found were expensive and TINY. ABD poops are massive and frequent so this would not work. Second we found disintegrated when even remotely moist. We hike with out boy a lot, and rain dissolving your bags so that when you go to pic up poop, your fingers go through? NOPE next. We found some bags that we like the size and they didn't disintegrate. The caveat was, no handles and hard to open. You ever try to hold a 80 pound dog in one place while trying to wrestle open a poop bag and then tie it in a knot?
So we were at our local pet store and saw they had "Earth Rated Poop bags" they were scented, but not baby powder/Lysol strong just faint and nice lavender. They are a LONGER bag, so you can pick up even Mastiff sized poops and not get it all over your arm. We even had to double bag and two poops fit in! The bags are tough, resist tearing, and best of all they are biodegradeable! They even make a corn based bag that will completely dissolve in 30 days in a compost heap! (We don't recommend using dog poop as compost material for gardening tho! Think of composted poop as being a doggie septic tank. More info here
We also tried BioBags which are placed in all the dog parks and hiking trails by our house. We love them, but prefer our bags to have a masking scent and also handles.
All in all the Earth Rated Poop Bags get a 5 out of 5 paws from all our furry minions. We have four cats and started to use a ERPB when we scoop cat litter (and we have 4 boxes!) I highly recommend them if you have any pets that poop!
So we were at our local pet store and saw they had "Earth Rated Poop bags" they were scented, but not baby powder/Lysol strong just faint and nice lavender. They are a LONGER bag, so you can pick up even Mastiff sized poops and not get it all over your arm. We even had to double bag and two poops fit in! The bags are tough, resist tearing, and best of all they are biodegradeable! They even make a corn based bag that will completely dissolve in 30 days in a compost heap! (We don't recommend using dog poop as compost material for gardening tho! Think of composted poop as being a doggie septic tank. More info here
We also tried BioBags which are placed in all the dog parks and hiking trails by our house. We love them, but prefer our bags to have a masking scent and also handles.
All in all the Earth Rated Poop Bags get a 5 out of 5 paws from all our furry minions. We have four cats and started to use a ERPB when we scoop cat litter (and we have 4 boxes!) I highly recommend them if you have any pets that poop!
Monday, February 17, 2014
Strange Brew...My belly probs.
So, for about the last 3 months I have had issues with my stomach. I used to be able to eat about 2 cups of food, 8 ounces of liquid and 1/2 cup of fruit or pudding or something sweet (fruit cocktail, fruit, gluten free cookie... ounce of chocolate) lately however I have had some serious issues. I am only able to eat about a cup of food and 4 ounces of liquid before I feel like I am going to puke.
Sometimes I can only eat once a day and it usually consists on a single ounce of protein, 1/2 cup of chopped or small vegetables (like french green beans, peas, or shaved Brussels sprouts) the have to wait about an hour or so before I can eat or drink anything else without having serious stomach pains, nausea or gas.
Chris thinks I have ulcers (very possible) but since I have no health insurance I can't really do much about that. I was hoping that this would mean that I would lose weight, but since I have not been able to do much cardio, the weight loss has been very negligible.
Tonight I managed to eat an ounce of cheese, an ounce of turkey, and 1/2 cup of cooked brown rice, and a 8 ounce cup of coffee with homemade rice milk and stevia.
We were supposed to have gluten free spaghetti and turkey kielbasa meat sauce tonight, but I may end up just having the turkey.
I want to try to get 30 minutes of light recumbent biking in while I am doing my reading for class. and maybe a set of wall push ups. I feel sore and slugish, and need my energy back to be able to get errands and cleaning done.
Sometimes I can only eat once a day and it usually consists on a single ounce of protein, 1/2 cup of chopped or small vegetables (like french green beans, peas, or shaved Brussels sprouts) the have to wait about an hour or so before I can eat or drink anything else without having serious stomach pains, nausea or gas.
Chris thinks I have ulcers (very possible) but since I have no health insurance I can't really do much about that. I was hoping that this would mean that I would lose weight, but since I have not been able to do much cardio, the weight loss has been very negligible.
Tonight I managed to eat an ounce of cheese, an ounce of turkey, and 1/2 cup of cooked brown rice, and a 8 ounce cup of coffee with homemade rice milk and stevia.
We were supposed to have gluten free spaghetti and turkey kielbasa meat sauce tonight, but I may end up just having the turkey.
I want to try to get 30 minutes of light recumbent biking in while I am doing my reading for class. and maybe a set of wall push ups. I feel sore and slugish, and need my energy back to be able to get errands and cleaning done.
Monday, February 10, 2014
Random acts of being a human being
Its official I am not leaving the house again until Wednesday night. Went to Aldi, to get my groceries, while walking back to my car I saw an old lady doing the "OMG I AM GONNA FALL" windmill arms dance. I ran up and helped stop her from falling down, I steadied her and walked her to her car.
Went to get gas, was approached by TWO homeless guys asking for money. One went to go tap on car windows in traffic so I reluctantly called non emergency to go pick him off and drop him at at the shelter he was well dressed and clean, so he probably had people looking for him. The other followed me inside and started an argument with himself. The owner started yelling at him (which never helps) finally I told the guy if he went outside and waited quietly I would buy him coffee and a donut. He left quietly, the owner apologized and I shrugged and said "Hey, one wrong move and that could be any of us." He gave me free coffee and an old hotdog for the guy. I remembered I had an old skullcap in the jeep, gave him that too.
Went BACK in to pay for my gas and found out the lady who had been behind me had added 6 bucks to my measly 5 bucks! Yay almost an eighth of a tank!
Part of me feels super blessed, part of me is sad that this kind of behavior is considered "exceptional" It was the right thing to do.
Went to get gas, was approached by TWO homeless guys asking for money. One went to go tap on car windows in traffic so I reluctantly called non emergency to go pick him off and drop him at at the shelter he was well dressed and clean, so he probably had people looking for him. The other followed me inside and started an argument with himself. The owner started yelling at him (which never helps) finally I told the guy if he went outside and waited quietly I would buy him coffee and a donut. He left quietly, the owner apologized and I shrugged and said "Hey, one wrong move and that could be any of us." He gave me free coffee and an old hotdog for the guy. I remembered I had an old skullcap in the jeep, gave him that too.
Went BACK in to pay for my gas and found out the lady who had been behind me had added 6 bucks to my measly 5 bucks! Yay almost an eighth of a tank!
Part of me feels super blessed, part of me is sad that this kind of behavior is considered "exceptional" It was the right thing to do.
Tuesday, February 04, 2014
Ion Color Brights+Henna Sooq Red Raj Henna: a review
I have black hair with gray and white highlights. I wanted to cover the gray and make it BLOOD RED.
So for the last year I have been using red raj henna by henna sooq (www.hennasooq.com)
I'd used henna before (even henna from henna sooq!) but never found that it gave me the deep cherry cola/deep red tones that I wanted.
I tried adding lemon juice, taking it away, adding coconut oil, taking it away...sugar, tea, beet juice...EVERYTHING.
Finally I started using Dechlorinated boiled hot water and 10 drops of organic lavender oil. EUREKA! It finally stained and didn't itch so much! BUT the caveat was that it was like trying to get a cat out of a catnip factory. It took DAYS to get the mixture out.
So on a whim I found a bottle of Sally Beauty Supply "Ion Color Brights" in Red and Fuschia. I added an entire bottle of "red" and half a bottle of Fuchsia into my henna mix and left it on over night.
It applied super easy, washed out like a breeze, and gave me night deep saturated color, except it stained my scalp. Got a little over zealous with the Ion stuff.
So the next time I bought A tube of Ion Red, a tube of Ion Fuschia
, and a tube of Clear.
I mixed 1/2 a tube of red, with 1/4 a tube of Fuchsia and 1/4 tube of Clear.
Applied it to my roots, left it on overnight again, washed it out.
Once again, easy to apply, easy to wash out, stained beautifully, but didn't stain my scalp!
I waited three days and let it oxidize and then super conditioned my hair using 1/4 tube Clear, 1/4 tube Fuschia, and a cup of conditioner. Left it on all day (didn't drip or stain my skin) under a shower cap and a woolen beanie. Even went to the grocery store, no problem, people just thought I was cold.
My hair is super shiny, super soft, and I only wash it once a week with no problems.
I did end up mixing my giant bottle of conditioner with the rest of the Ion Colorbrights Red. Just so that when I wash once a week, it touches up the color. I feel like the henna roughs up the pores and the colorbrights smooths them again.
I only have to retouch now, every 6 weeks. Once every three months I might do a "comb thru" with the red and Fuchsa mixed with conditioner and leave it on overnight to "refresh" the color all over, but for the most part its just touch ups, which take about 10 minutes to do, and 5 minutes to wash out.
I highly Recommend the Ion Color Brights. I had previously tried Manic Panic, NRage Demi dye, Beyond the zone semi permanent, and Special FX. Although I have to say I liked Special FX I didn't find that it worked any better than Ion Colorbrights and it is difficult to get.
So for the last year I have been using red raj henna by henna sooq (www.hennasooq.com)
I'd used henna before (even henna from henna sooq!) but never found that it gave me the deep cherry cola/deep red tones that I wanted.
I tried adding lemon juice, taking it away, adding coconut oil, taking it away...sugar, tea, beet juice...EVERYTHING.
Finally I started using Dechlorinated boiled hot water and 10 drops of organic lavender oil. EUREKA! It finally stained and didn't itch so much! BUT the caveat was that it was like trying to get a cat out of a catnip factory. It took DAYS to get the mixture out.
So on a whim I found a bottle of Sally Beauty Supply "Ion Color Brights" in Red and Fuschia. I added an entire bottle of "red" and half a bottle of Fuchsia into my henna mix and left it on over night.
It applied super easy, washed out like a breeze, and gave me night deep saturated color, except it stained my scalp. Got a little over zealous with the Ion stuff.
So the next time I bought A tube of Ion Red, a tube of Ion Fuschia
, and a tube of Clear.
I mixed 1/2 a tube of red, with 1/4 a tube of Fuchsia and 1/4 tube of Clear.
Applied it to my roots, left it on overnight again, washed it out.
Once again, easy to apply, easy to wash out, stained beautifully, but didn't stain my scalp!
I waited three days and let it oxidize and then super conditioned my hair using 1/4 tube Clear, 1/4 tube Fuschia, and a cup of conditioner. Left it on all day (didn't drip or stain my skin) under a shower cap and a woolen beanie. Even went to the grocery store, no problem, people just thought I was cold.
My hair is super shiny, super soft, and I only wash it once a week with no problems.
I did end up mixing my giant bottle of conditioner with the rest of the Ion Colorbrights Red. Just so that when I wash once a week, it touches up the color. I feel like the henna roughs up the pores and the colorbrights smooths them again.
I only have to retouch now, every 6 weeks. Once every three months I might do a "comb thru" with the red and Fuchsa mixed with conditioner and leave it on overnight to "refresh" the color all over, but for the most part its just touch ups, which take about 10 minutes to do, and 5 minutes to wash out.
I highly Recommend the Ion Color Brights. I had previously tried Manic Panic, NRage Demi dye, Beyond the zone semi permanent, and Special FX. Although I have to say I liked Special FX I didn't find that it worked any better than Ion Colorbrights and it is difficult to get.
Monday, February 03, 2014
Random title here
So I started Masters Degree classes, don't know WHAT I was thinking. All my family members are quick to tell me "You know none of the social service positions pay very well"
Thanks family, but I have to go with what I have talent in. I would be a killer humanitarian, if ONLY I made millions of dollars a year to give away.
I got diagnosed with Tietze Syndrome. Which explains why my body suddenly puffs up and is hurty for no apparent reason. Whats good is it is treatable, what is bad is that it comes on for no rhyme or reason and can take weeks to get better. Which means ice vests in January, super fun!
The whole working on the weekends only thing is coming into round 6 and seems to be working out for us. the occasional babysitting job really helps. But those are hard to find.
I took a job cleaning a fish tank once a week. The annoying thing is that when I go there a tiny old woman follows me around barking in Italian. I don't like it, I am going to ask my boss if I can go during the week in the PM after my husband gets home. Like Thursday or Friday evening (probably friday) Then they might be out and I can just pop in and clean in peace.
Things would be so much easier if they just invested in a stupid fish filter! I would donate one just to make life easier!
Its beyond stupid.
Thanks family, but I have to go with what I have talent in. I would be a killer humanitarian, if ONLY I made millions of dollars a year to give away.
I got diagnosed with Tietze Syndrome. Which explains why my body suddenly puffs up and is hurty for no apparent reason. Whats good is it is treatable, what is bad is that it comes on for no rhyme or reason and can take weeks to get better. Which means ice vests in January, super fun!
The whole working on the weekends only thing is coming into round 6 and seems to be working out for us. the occasional babysitting job really helps. But those are hard to find.
I took a job cleaning a fish tank once a week. The annoying thing is that when I go there a tiny old woman follows me around barking in Italian. I don't like it, I am going to ask my boss if I can go during the week in the PM after my husband gets home. Like Thursday or Friday evening (probably friday) Then they might be out and I can just pop in and clean in peace.
Things would be so much easier if they just invested in a stupid fish filter! I would donate one just to make life easier!
Its beyond stupid.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
So much Awesome. REDUPNY Giveaway!
http://the-pinkphoenix.com/?p=220
Go there, share on twitter, tumblr, facebook, blog EVERYWHERE!
Enter to win a chance at some awesome books by awesome people!
Go there, share on twitter, tumblr, facebook, blog EVERYWHERE!
Enter to win a chance at some awesome books by awesome people!
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Balcony Gardening experiment round 2
So this year I tried growing more veggies. I gre Pattypan squash (fail) Cukes (meh) carrots (good!) Daikon (really good) beans (good) tomatoes (good, but took a long time, next time starting earlier and using different genome seed) and other plants; Nasturtiums, purslane, basil, garlic (not so good) Lettuce (great!) Arugula (great) marigolds (Prolific and lovely) New Guinea Impatiens (good but need too much water) and a variety of succulents and air plants (which did so well I now have three jade plants instead of one!)
Next year I think I am going to loose the squash, begonia and the cukes. In theory they are great plants but the watering needs are too much for this not able to haul water cripple!
I did learn beans and marigolds do REALLY well together. Chard is pretty and very edible (and takes a lot less soil and water than I was giving them. Daikon works well but does require water every day... and basil and leaf lettuces are so easy I should grow them year round.
So year 2 season is coming to a close and soon it will be time to plant some mums on the porch and compost the plants after I gather some seeds.
Year three I am hoping lavender, mint, parsley, and oregano to take the place of the squash, cukes, and begonias.
Next year I think I am going to loose the squash, begonia and the cukes. In theory they are great plants but the watering needs are too much for this not able to haul water cripple!
I did learn beans and marigolds do REALLY well together. Chard is pretty and very edible (and takes a lot less soil and water than I was giving them. Daikon works well but does require water every day... and basil and leaf lettuces are so easy I should grow them year round.
So year 2 season is coming to a close and soon it will be time to plant some mums on the porch and compost the plants after I gather some seeds.
Year three I am hoping lavender, mint, parsley, and oregano to take the place of the squash, cukes, and begonias.
Thursday, May 02, 2013
May Update- Sex, Sexuality and Consent.
There have been a lot of things on my mind lately. I have not had time to blog having been sucked into working two jobs, dealing with ongoing health problems, and trying to keep two sickly animals alive.
These last few months found me trying to grow my own food, attempting to spring clean and purge myself of unused, unwanted crap in my house the very last thing I was want to do was sit down and read the news.
So last night when I found myself again up with my arthritis and my heart hammering and unable to breath right I decided to check up with my favorite pirate news group and talk to some people who take scouring the interwebs for news and stories as if it is their job.
Three things were immediately brought up that made me realize WHY I don't visit more often. Somehow we ended up talking about sex (surprise!) It was brought to light that many of us on the forum considered ourselves bisexual. Suddenly a gay man interrupts to say "No disrespect but how is someone bisexual? Does it mean you will have sex with anyone?" I honestly tried to keep it light but the jabs were continued with "So no one is safe from a bisexual! at least with my straight guy friends I know there is no chance of being raped!" the final straw was when it was stated that Bisexuals were really just closet "polygamist"
Trying to be the bigger person I left but was fuming. To some people I am considered this wanton sex fiend who will sleep with anyone who has genitalia. Because I am bisexual I must wander around in a state of constant lust ready to spring on unsuspecting people at any time. Which ironically made me think about Danny Brown being sexually assaulted on stage at a show in Minnesota.
So because he is a man who has explicit sexual lyrics its a shrug-gable offense that a woman felt she could come onstage rip off his pants and put her mouth on his genitals? Maybe he is bisexual and just gave off implied consent?
Last time I went to the orchestra or the opera you expressed pleasure at someone's performance by applause or buying merchandise not by ripping the pants off Yo Yo Ma and putting his penis in your mouth.
We have this seriously fucked up view of consent. I was talking to a friend in the porn industry who told me even the most accepting and open people seem to not grasp the idea of consent "If I tell someone I am a porn actress they IMMEDIATELY become too familiar, thinking that they can touch me, slap my ass, or even try to kiss me. Because I have sex onscreen and am openly bisexual it means that it is automatic consent for anyone to do what they want, like its not my body anymore."
It goes past the point of making me angry, it just makes me feel embarrassed for our generation. What are we teaching the next generation about sexuality and consent? What happened to "No means No?"
I am not buying into the Bullsh*t that people get "carrried away" or get "mixed signals" or "are asking for it".
Telling me "well honestly what did you expect" when someone is verbally or sexually assaulted because of who they are, their sexuality, race, gender, appearance, or even their job boggles my mind. Unless I tell you to put your hands on me, then don't touch me. It really is that simple.
I have trouble with consent even at my job as a chef. Everyday I find people who are too familiar. I am constantly having to enforce my own personal space, tell people to please not touch me. The other day a person who I served food to for over a year came up and started rubbing my shoulders. I immediately said "Don't do that" to which they responded "Put humans all need physical contact" as if that made it OK to touch me and not ask for my consent.
The fact is if you didn't ask, and I didn't say it was OK its not. It really is that simple.
So if the above is true it should not matter WHAT my sexual preference is,or whom I find attractive nor what my job is. I will never touch someone without consent.
So here is the take away you can be any gender, any sexual preference and not be in danger of losing control of your wildfire libido and sexually assaulting them if you can grasp the idea of consent. Not Implied, not inferred but have an actual 10 second discussion about consent.
These last few months found me trying to grow my own food, attempting to spring clean and purge myself of unused, unwanted crap in my house the very last thing I was want to do was sit down and read the news.
So last night when I found myself again up with my arthritis and my heart hammering and unable to breath right I decided to check up with my favorite pirate news group and talk to some people who take scouring the interwebs for news and stories as if it is their job.
Three things were immediately brought up that made me realize WHY I don't visit more often. Somehow we ended up talking about sex (surprise!) It was brought to light that many of us on the forum considered ourselves bisexual. Suddenly a gay man interrupts to say "No disrespect but how is someone bisexual? Does it mean you will have sex with anyone?" I honestly tried to keep it light but the jabs were continued with "So no one is safe from a bisexual! at least with my straight guy friends I know there is no chance of being raped!" the final straw was when it was stated that Bisexuals were really just closet "polygamist"
Trying to be the bigger person I left but was fuming. To some people I am considered this wanton sex fiend who will sleep with anyone who has genitalia. Because I am bisexual I must wander around in a state of constant lust ready to spring on unsuspecting people at any time. Which ironically made me think about Danny Brown being sexually assaulted on stage at a show in Minnesota.
So because he is a man who has explicit sexual lyrics its a shrug-gable offense that a woman felt she could come onstage rip off his pants and put her mouth on his genitals? Maybe he is bisexual and just gave off implied consent?
Last time I went to the orchestra or the opera you expressed pleasure at someone's performance by applause or buying merchandise not by ripping the pants off Yo Yo Ma and putting his penis in your mouth.
We have this seriously fucked up view of consent. I was talking to a friend in the porn industry who told me even the most accepting and open people seem to not grasp the idea of consent "If I tell someone I am a porn actress they IMMEDIATELY become too familiar, thinking that they can touch me, slap my ass, or even try to kiss me. Because I have sex onscreen and am openly bisexual it means that it is automatic consent for anyone to do what they want, like its not my body anymore."
It goes past the point of making me angry, it just makes me feel embarrassed for our generation. What are we teaching the next generation about sexuality and consent? What happened to "No means No?"
I am not buying into the Bullsh*t that people get "carrried away" or get "mixed signals" or "are asking for it".
Telling me "well honestly what did you expect" when someone is verbally or sexually assaulted because of who they are, their sexuality, race, gender, appearance, or even their job boggles my mind. Unless I tell you to put your hands on me, then don't touch me. It really is that simple.
I have trouble with consent even at my job as a chef. Everyday I find people who are too familiar. I am constantly having to enforce my own personal space, tell people to please not touch me. The other day a person who I served food to for over a year came up and started rubbing my shoulders. I immediately said "Don't do that" to which they responded "Put humans all need physical contact" as if that made it OK to touch me and not ask for my consent.
The fact is if you didn't ask, and I didn't say it was OK its not. It really is that simple.
So if the above is true it should not matter WHAT my sexual preference is,or whom I find attractive nor what my job is. I will never touch someone without consent.
So here is the take away you can be any gender, any sexual preference and not be in danger of losing control of your wildfire libido and sexually assaulting them if you can grasp the idea of consent. Not Implied, not inferred but have an actual 10 second discussion about consent.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Numerology and Deoderant
I can smell my spray deoderant BREWING away in the kitchen, smell good! I hope it works a well as the last stuff I used. I WILL NOT be the stinky lady who always smells like BO. WILL. NOT.
I like that it is in a spray so I can spray under the boobage and muffin top.
I don't want to use commercial deo anymore because it has artificual smells, propylene glycol, and other stuff that is about a 1/2 molecule away from being a carcinogen.
Slowly I have been trying to get us AWAY from commercial crap and toward using sustainable, eco friendly toiletries and sundries.
My make your own detergent was an epic fail. But I hope to try again, and I need to invest in some wool dryer balls, and natural fabric softener.
I like that dryer sheets seem to repel dog hair, but I hate the waste. I have reused them to wash the shower and toilet (cuts thru soap scum!) but saving them feels like hoarding!
We use almost ONLY organic stuff on the dog, and he is softer, has less sores, smells better and even eats better.
So I read my numerology report today I am a 9:
Its actually kind of scary how accurate that is!
I wish I knew Kayne Michael's and Dodger's numbers.
I still need to hop into the shower and get to the library...unless I just listen to my book on tape and draw/color instead. Kinda feel lazy today. Leftovers and some squats and that's it. Library can happen tomorrow.
I like that it is in a spray so I can spray under the boobage and muffin top.
I don't want to use commercial deo anymore because it has artificual smells, propylene glycol, and other stuff that is about a 1/2 molecule away from being a carcinogen.
Slowly I have been trying to get us AWAY from commercial crap and toward using sustainable, eco friendly toiletries and sundries.
My make your own detergent was an epic fail. But I hope to try again, and I need to invest in some wool dryer balls, and natural fabric softener.
I like that dryer sheets seem to repel dog hair, but I hate the waste. I have reused them to wash the shower and toilet (cuts thru soap scum!) but saving them feels like hoarding!
We use almost ONLY organic stuff on the dog, and he is softer, has less sores, smells better and even eats better.
So I read my numerology report today I am a 9:
9 Life Path number
If you have a 9 Life Path, you are perhaps the most challenged of all numbers in the relationship department. You are secretive and you keep your distance. Figuratively speaking, you don't like to show yourself naked, not just because it makes you feel vulnerable, which it does, but also because you see it as lacking class and sophistication. You have an aristocratic streak and value your sense of separation. You can be a great and loyal friend, but you don't expose your deeper fears or dreams even to those closest to you. For this reason, you enter a relationship the way someone who can't swim enters the pool; slowly and ready to back away at any time.Its actually kind of scary how accurate that is!
I wish I knew Kayne Michael's and Dodger's numbers.
I still need to hop into the shower and get to the library...unless I just listen to my book on tape and draw/color instead. Kinda feel lazy today. Leftovers and some squats and that's it. Library can happen tomorrow.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Sugar, aw honey, honey....
UGH. It is true. I am like a heroin addict when it comes to sugar. I don't boil it in a spoon and inject it, but when I have a bad day, or am in pain, or am just moody all I can think about is a giant sundae, or cookie, or organic milk chocolate.....
It makes me drool just thinking about it.
I have been good with trying to avoid sugar and foods that are high on the glycemic index
But yesterday not one but two dirty old men came into my work making lewd comments about "Serving my breasts" or "Your breasts are so juicy!" or "Do I get two breasts? they come in pairs!"
People I did NOT know, people who stood there being lewd and annoying causing me at one point to say "Oh thats hilarious, tell my husband there what you said!" Pointing to my very tall, very large friend Mark from produce who is built like a mountain. He walked over, put his arm around my waist and says in his deep gravely voice "Everything ok hunny?" The older man gaped like a fish and skittered away. But I was still shaking and seriously uncomfortable.
Mark said before he is my go to security guy because he thinks of me like a little sister and his girlfriend loves me. I am normally tougher than that, but it was the straw that broke the camels back. So my boss bought me a cookie, and a small ice cream cone.
I should say about my job people are normally VERY kind. But there are just every one in a hundred who make you feel anxious, uncomfortable, and like you want to crawl into a dark hole and hide.
Predators.
After my bad day at work I had the stupid idea to run to sprawlmart and pick up long underwear for myself and Chris (especially myself because I am FREEZING in my work warehouse!) they are doing construction and I could not find anything. It took me almost 40 minutes to find leggings and long underwear. And once I found leggings they had only size "gigantic" or "infant" I was so annoyed I left with too big leggings that I will probably use as pajamas and long underwear that i prayed would fit Chris.
Kayne Michael still has an open sore on his foot. I need to go to a drug store and get Vet Wrap and gauze. until it is healed and stops draining it needs to be cleaned and covered and I don't want him to have to wear a lamp shade on his head. The vet said if it is still "weeping" after a few days we will have to insert a drain or "wick" its basically sterile gauze that is partially packd into the wound and the tail is left out, then the entire thing is covered and left for a day. The gauze absorbs any fluid or puss and then you pull it out. I have seen it done, and assisted in doing several drains on large and small animals, but Chris is virtually useless when it comes to even cleaning a wound much less shaving a struggling animal and holding him while I incise and pack a wound. I may just take him to the clinic and get him doped on Valium before hand (vet prescribed)
Luckily our vet knows my history with working at Clinics and has no problem with letting ME give Kayne intramuscular, subcutaneous, and IV shots as long as he watches. Kayne has veins like a horse and if I can get a vein on a kitten who is barely three weeks old, he is like throwing a bowling ball down a hallway. Even the vets from Cornell said "If you are comfortable with it we will just let you start his IV"
The skills you learn working with a large dog who has serious anxiety and stranger aggression.
I swear my house looks like a minature pharmacy with all the butterfly IVs, needles, syringes, medications, IV bags, tubing, gauze, ointments, tapes, vet wrap...
And with Chris being accident prone the only thing that I DON'T have is sutures. Well at least if the apocalypse comes I will be able to treat wounds!
I kinda want to learn phlebotomy just so I can learn to draw my own blood blindfolded. Everyone seems to have trouble with it, but my sister in law could draw blood from a mouse. She is REALLY GOOD.
I am talking with my vet friend who is also a naturopath and told him I had tried drawing poultice on Kayne's foot. I said it looked better today, we agree that we will use the small wick and ichthammol and calendula pack for a few more days.
I don't want to put him on antibiotics because Bulldogs are already so low in immune response I don't want to lower it anymore.
Currently Kayne is sleeping with his stuffed monkey with his foot covered in a gauze and a clean sock.
Poor baby!
Oh a note on Dodger. Dodger Oliver "De Leon" Manlove is a cat bully.
BUT I have been giving all the cats "GoOD Cat!" and Bachs Rescue Rememdy. I put it on their noses and dilluted it and sprayed it on their bedding and food.
Dodger last night actually was trying to cuddle with Ani. Ani Louise was NOT HAVING THAT. and smacked him in the face.
Dodger ran over to me and slumped down hiding his face in my chest. I think he really wants to play and cuddle and the girls are just too old for that.
He even tries to get the dog to play with him.
Chris and I are torn. We think that having another cat would be a bad idea, but also think Dodger really needs someone to play with besides myself and Chris. We may offer to temporarily keep one of the girl Siamese from downstairs so Dodger has a playmate... We are still thinking about it, not wanting to go thru having the girls pee on our bed in anger.
Suggestions?
KJ
It makes me drool just thinking about it.
I have been good with trying to avoid sugar and foods that are high on the glycemic index
But yesterday not one but two dirty old men came into my work making lewd comments about "Serving my breasts" or "Your breasts are so juicy!" or "Do I get two breasts? they come in pairs!"
People I did NOT know, people who stood there being lewd and annoying causing me at one point to say "Oh thats hilarious, tell my husband there what you said!" Pointing to my very tall, very large friend Mark from produce who is built like a mountain. He walked over, put his arm around my waist and says in his deep gravely voice "Everything ok hunny?" The older man gaped like a fish and skittered away. But I was still shaking and seriously uncomfortable.
Mark said before he is my go to security guy because he thinks of me like a little sister and his girlfriend loves me. I am normally tougher than that, but it was the straw that broke the camels back. So my boss bought me a cookie, and a small ice cream cone.
I should say about my job people are normally VERY kind. But there are just every one in a hundred who make you feel anxious, uncomfortable, and like you want to crawl into a dark hole and hide.
Predators.
After my bad day at work I had the stupid idea to run to sprawlmart and pick up long underwear for myself and Chris (especially myself because I am FREEZING in my work warehouse!) they are doing construction and I could not find anything. It took me almost 40 minutes to find leggings and long underwear. And once I found leggings they had only size "gigantic" or "infant" I was so annoyed I left with too big leggings that I will probably use as pajamas and long underwear that i prayed would fit Chris.
Kayne Michael still has an open sore on his foot. I need to go to a drug store and get Vet Wrap and gauze. until it is healed and stops draining it needs to be cleaned and covered and I don't want him to have to wear a lamp shade on his head. The vet said if it is still "weeping" after a few days we will have to insert a drain or "wick" its basically sterile gauze that is partially packd into the wound and the tail is left out, then the entire thing is covered and left for a day. The gauze absorbs any fluid or puss and then you pull it out. I have seen it done, and assisted in doing several drains on large and small animals, but Chris is virtually useless when it comes to even cleaning a wound much less shaving a struggling animal and holding him while I incise and pack a wound. I may just take him to the clinic and get him doped on Valium before hand (vet prescribed)
Luckily our vet knows my history with working at Clinics and has no problem with letting ME give Kayne intramuscular, subcutaneous, and IV shots as long as he watches. Kayne has veins like a horse and if I can get a vein on a kitten who is barely three weeks old, he is like throwing a bowling ball down a hallway. Even the vets from Cornell said "If you are comfortable with it we will just let you start his IV"
The skills you learn working with a large dog who has serious anxiety and stranger aggression.
I swear my house looks like a minature pharmacy with all the butterfly IVs, needles, syringes, medications, IV bags, tubing, gauze, ointments, tapes, vet wrap...
And with Chris being accident prone the only thing that I DON'T have is sutures. Well at least if the apocalypse comes I will be able to treat wounds!
I kinda want to learn phlebotomy just so I can learn to draw my own blood blindfolded. Everyone seems to have trouble with it, but my sister in law could draw blood from a mouse. She is REALLY GOOD.
I am talking with my vet friend who is also a naturopath and told him I had tried drawing poultice on Kayne's foot. I said it looked better today, we agree that we will use the small wick and ichthammol and calendula pack for a few more days.
I don't want to put him on antibiotics because Bulldogs are already so low in immune response I don't want to lower it anymore.
Currently Kayne is sleeping with his stuffed monkey with his foot covered in a gauze and a clean sock.
Poor baby!
Oh a note on Dodger. Dodger Oliver "De Leon" Manlove is a cat bully.
BUT I have been giving all the cats "GoOD Cat!" and Bachs Rescue Rememdy. I put it on their noses and dilluted it and sprayed it on their bedding and food.
Dodger last night actually was trying to cuddle with Ani. Ani Louise was NOT HAVING THAT. and smacked him in the face.
Dodger ran over to me and slumped down hiding his face in my chest. I think he really wants to play and cuddle and the girls are just too old for that.
He even tries to get the dog to play with him.
Chris and I are torn. We think that having another cat would be a bad idea, but also think Dodger really needs someone to play with besides myself and Chris. We may offer to temporarily keep one of the girl Siamese from downstairs so Dodger has a playmate... We are still thinking about it, not wanting to go thru having the girls pee on our bed in anger.
Suggestions?
KJ
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Dodger De Leon-Westmoreland Pied Piper
So this is Dodger. I have known Dodger for three years. The first time I met him he was a neighborhood cat with a flea collar and terrible fleas. I thought "OK this is someones pet, I will just keep an eye on him." Then he brought us his sister when we were feeding some homeless feral cats. When he adopted out his sister I started looking for Dodger again. I saw him and he was no longer the fat, happy kitten. He was a tiny, skinny cat with worms, fleas, and ear mites. I took him in for long enough to treat him for everything and then let him go with a note on his collar: "If you are not going take care of this cat I WILL."
Finally I start seeing Dodger again when he begins bringing kittens to our feeding area. I remember sitting up in the middle of the night hearing his yowl. I went downstairs and dodger was standing over a tiny grey kitten. It was dead, covered in maggots, fleas, and obviously rolled by a car. I took him from Dodger and said "Sorry Mister D he is dead." Dodger looked at me and ran away. I put the kitten in a box by the garage and heard his yowl again. I turned to see him staring at me. I followed him to a tiny skinny soaking wet and filthy kitten. I scooped him up and turned to see Dodger watching me and then disappear.
The kitten died. I found two more and both died.
I was feeling really low, and then my own cat Billy died as well.
I said I was not going to trap anymore, I was taking a break from the feral kittens.
Dodger had other plans.
He first brought me twin tabbies, then Mama Siamese and her baby.
Each day he would watch for myself or my landlord to come home them one by one lead the kittens and their mother up to eat.
Enough was enough.
I trapped the tabbies, then Dodger. Still working on trapping three other strays.
Dodger was not sure why he was suddenly inside. It took him a day to let me touch him, another to let me pet him, and another to let me pick him up. He has the tabbies with him and shares his food bed and considerable bulk to make them feel safe.
He is un neutered, and has clouding on his eyes and non reticulating second lids. Same condition my tuxedo female has. He does not see well and no one treated him from what I can tell. He is covered with scars, has the thick coarse fur of an outdoor cat. He let me clean his ears (mites) and I gave him a dose of wormer. His teeth are not great but it is honestly a miracle in this neighborhood that he was not run over, or killed by a lose dog.
I went to the neighborhood I believed Dodger was from and knocked on every house asking if they were missing a cat. A woman said that an elderly woman up the street had died and had 2 black and white cats and since the son moved in they were relegated to outside.
I told Chris about the situation and my landlord. We agreed Dodger needs better care. He is home.
He will never wonder where to sleep, or where his next meal will come. He will never have to be sick and have no one provide help (we now have an emergency charge card JUST for the pets that has money put aside that can only be used at the vet)
He will be loved, spoiled, and all his "kittens" will be taken care of.
So that is the story of Dodger De Leon.
Finally I start seeing Dodger again when he begins bringing kittens to our feeding area. I remember sitting up in the middle of the night hearing his yowl. I went downstairs and dodger was standing over a tiny grey kitten. It was dead, covered in maggots, fleas, and obviously rolled by a car. I took him from Dodger and said "Sorry Mister D he is dead." Dodger looked at me and ran away. I put the kitten in a box by the garage and heard his yowl again. I turned to see him staring at me. I followed him to a tiny skinny soaking wet and filthy kitten. I scooped him up and turned to see Dodger watching me and then disappear.
The kitten died. I found two more and both died.
I was feeling really low, and then my own cat Billy died as well.
I said I was not going to trap anymore, I was taking a break from the feral kittens.
Dodger had other plans.
He first brought me twin tabbies, then Mama Siamese and her baby.
Each day he would watch for myself or my landlord to come home them one by one lead the kittens and their mother up to eat.
Enough was enough.
I trapped the tabbies, then Dodger. Still working on trapping three other strays.
Dodger was not sure why he was suddenly inside. It took him a day to let me touch him, another to let me pet him, and another to let me pick him up. He has the tabbies with him and shares his food bed and considerable bulk to make them feel safe.
He is un neutered, and has clouding on his eyes and non reticulating second lids. Same condition my tuxedo female has. He does not see well and no one treated him from what I can tell. He is covered with scars, has the thick coarse fur of an outdoor cat. He let me clean his ears (mites) and I gave him a dose of wormer. His teeth are not great but it is honestly a miracle in this neighborhood that he was not run over, or killed by a lose dog.
I went to the neighborhood I believed Dodger was from and knocked on every house asking if they were missing a cat. A woman said that an elderly woman up the street had died and had 2 black and white cats and since the son moved in they were relegated to outside.
I told Chris about the situation and my landlord. We agreed Dodger needs better care. He is home.
He will never wonder where to sleep, or where his next meal will come. He will never have to be sick and have no one provide help (we now have an emergency charge card JUST for the pets that has money put aside that can only be used at the vet)
He will be loved, spoiled, and all his "kittens" will be taken care of.
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